tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post1813638619725668471..comments2024-03-13T08:18:08.922+10:30Comments on Catdownunder: I was almost knocked catdownunderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189081688973141295noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-20757330844654710592013-08-09T00:58:49.879+09:302013-08-09T00:58:49.879+09:30I have known a few youngsters with Aspergers, who ...I have known a few youngsters with Aspergers, who have grown into thoroughly worthwhile people -with their own personal quirks. I have also known plenty who may have seemed as though that is what was causing them to be problems, but a diagnosis of Aspergers was, or would have been, the reverse of helpful. It is a difficult one.jeanfromcornwallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10062674591619616456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-34426706221103188952013-08-08T20:42:54.018+09:302013-08-08T20:42:54.018+09:30Thank you, everyone, for going into further detail...Thank you, everyone, for going into further detail and explaining the situation. It doesn't reduce my immediate reaction of distress to reading the account, but it helps me to understand why people who I know to be sensitive and understanding should have such a response.<br /><br />It is a difficult situation. It sounds as if in this case both the mother and the child need help, but in different ways.<br /><br />Unfortunately I have experienced a huge amount of negative public response over the last 15 years about my son and myself from ignorant people who automatically assume that my son is naughty rather than 'disabled'. It has been very distressing for me and my family. I hope that you good people would not have had similar thoughts had you met him when he was a similar age! But sadly many people did, and made their opinions heard.<br /><br />My son is an deeply eccentric but loveable 17 year old now, a valued youth leader at his church, and has severe anxiety disorders and issues with dealing with the outside world. I am now homeschooling him, after quite a good run at schools which worked very hard with him. He responds to me educating him in very specific ways and is a sponge for information that interests him, but totally rejects instruction on subjects that he is not interested in.<br /><br />Our life is very hard in some ways, but a gift in many others.<br /><br />I had to develop a strong response to ignorance over the years. I am starting to realise that I am not currently railing against ignorance.<br /><br />I sincerely hope that something can be done for both this boy and his mother, as it sounds as though they both need significant help.Sheeprustlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14927327455496824702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-68953598110202394072013-08-08T19:36:44.900+09:302013-08-08T19:36:44.900+09:30Hello Judy,
I was also present at the meeting. I ...Hello Judy, <br />I was also present at the meeting. I am professionally involved in the child's case - and Cat is peripherally involved as we have sought her advice about a number of matters.<br />The child does not have Asperger's. His mother does however have some issues - witness her failure to provide any occupation and her refusal to let him sit there and draw.<br />I can understand you were distressed but I think Cat was raising an important issue. We see too many children who are merely lively, normal children failing to reach parental expectations and being labelled because of it. And parents who are finding it hard to cope and wanting a label for their child even when it is inappropriate. When a child really does have a problem it is that much harder for them and their family.<br />Andrew McL. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-21630093886693426512013-08-08T18:02:32.897+09:302013-08-08T18:02:32.897+09:30Unless you are a member of his medical team, none ...Unless you are a member of his medical team, none of you can know for sure if he has Aspergers, no matter how many you have taught. I was so angry because it was such an insensitive post from a normally sensitive and intelligent Cat. <br /><br />And I don't blame Cat for not letting him play with her bag, of course not - I would said the same thing! <br /><br />But I have heard exactly the same things said about my child and my parenting, and the amount of pain and damage it caused was extensive. <br /><br />Bizarrely, given their preference for the familiar, it is common for Aspergers children to behave worse for their primary carer than anyone else -- this has been explained to me but I cannot remember the reasons properly.<br /><br />Something told to me by one of my son's medical team when he was diagnosed at the age of six has always stuck with me - the most typical presentation of Aspergers is an atypical one.<br /><br />I apologise if I sounded rude - I did try to express very strong feelings as moderately as possible. It just mirrored my own bad experiences so exactly, and from a forum that I would not have expected.Sheeprustlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14927327455496824702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-58968820152570267502013-08-08T17:14:48.837+09:302013-08-08T17:14:48.837+09:30Judy, I think I know the difference between "...Judy, I think I know the difference between "naughty" and Asperger's. I have taught children with Asperger's and yes, they have problems processing the world and their parents can go through huge traumas because people think the child is misbehaving.<br />However in this instance the problem is, as Ros has pointed out, the mother. The child behaves like any other child his age for both his grandfather and grandmother. He also behaves in an entirely normal way for his father. He runs rings around his mother and she allows and even encourages the behaviour. She could for example have brought some toys and books for him yesterday but she brought nothing. He was bored - who can blame him - but that still did not excuse his behaviour. (He was by the way offered paper and pens to draw with but his mother intervened and said, "I can't get him to do anything like that.")<br />Now, what would you do? Let him go through your bag?catdownunderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06959328192182156574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-31047360852945018512013-08-08T16:43:14.392+09:302013-08-08T16:43:14.392+09:30I know the child Cat is talking about Judy and he ...I know the child Cat is talking about Judy and he most definitely does not have Asperger's! My neighbour's child has Asperger's and both Cat and I know that child too. We both agree he has problems and Cat has done a lot for the family. <br />The child here has a problem parent, one who takes up the time of professionals and precious resources to satisfy their own desire for attention. You would think there were two entirely different children. He behaves in a perfectly normal manner in all social situations for his grandparents but runs wild when with his mother. That's not Asperger's. Perhaps you could credit Cat with a little more sensitivity? Ros (who works in the library)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-76141769552368600692013-08-08T16:23:07.352+09:302013-08-08T16:23:07.352+09:30Being the mother of a child with Aspergers (who is...Being the mother of a child with Aspergers (who is now 17) I found this post very upsetting. I had to endure years of being told that I was a bad parent and he was a naughty child. No, he has a diagnosed neuro-biological disorder which is hereditary. He processes the world in a different way from the 'neuro-typical'. Neither the parents of Aspergers children, nor the children themselves, need such judgemental misunderstandings. Yes, he may sit quietly listening to a story with his grandfather - it may be a situation he loves and feels comfortable with, whereas that meeting was probably not a situation that he was comfortable with. I remember all the nights I cried myself to sleep after being exposed to comments like these.Sheeprustlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14927327455496824702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-78485814334040541722013-08-08T15:29:09.206+09:302013-08-08T15:29:09.206+09:30I recognise that small boy - he used to come into ...I recognise that small boy - he used to come into the bookshop, in various disguises. I remember parents, or even grandparents, pleading with a naughty child to choose a book so they could go. It wasn't the child that was misbehaving so much as the adults who had simply lost the plotjeanfromcornwallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10062674591619616456noreply@blogger.com