tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post3854091182101889165..comments2024-03-13T08:18:08.922+10:30Comments on Catdownunder: A complete stranger gave me acatdownunderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189081688973141295noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-37308534227415939142016-01-13T20:35:50.645+10:302016-01-13T20:35:50.645+10:30I am starting to wonder how the next generation wi...I am starting to wonder how the next generation will find a mate! We can no longer somebody we think we might like to share a coffee to start to get to know them. Back to arranged marriages? Please no!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-62203412037690995422016-01-12T08:07:53.434+10:302016-01-12T08:07:53.434+10:30Black and white and tan dog hair welcome - I'm...Black and white and tan dog hair welcome - I'm glad you felt you could say that somewhere!catdownunderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06959328192182156574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1663680578112260744.post-37151437711941884982016-01-11T12:53:13.815+10:302016-01-11T12:53:13.815+10:30Thinking about it, my mother and I don't hug. ...Thinking about it, my mother and I don't hug. Like ever. I have no idea why, she just doesn't do that. So, as a young adult, I was not comfortable with hugs. I've gotten better over the years, but I can still have a sensory overload sort of thing. Basically ACK, CAN'T COPE. That same ack at an emotional level, well, 7 suicide attempts, panic attacks, vomiting for hours, it isn't pretty. And I've spent a LOT of time pretending normal. I'm extremely friendly and outgoing, and yeah, I'm putting out "don't touch" without realizing it.<br />My 2016 goal is to compliment at least one person a day. Because I like telling someone they have great hair, or those shoes are awesome, or that eye makeup is great. It makes them happy, and it probably helps that I generally try to go with something they chose (hair's the only iffy there I think) and generally more women than men (hetero female) and most of the time they're just walking by and I see something that I like in an aesthetic sense and I kinda feel like women are always being judged in a kinda not-nice way at best, so it's kinda my attempt to give a bit more nice and less icky. <br />Compliments have become more tricky because I think we're all a bit more aware of the fact that they can be skeevy, even when not meant so. <br />Of course, part of that is that I'm empathic. If the people around me are happy, I pick that up. I also spent quite a lot of time learning manners, so please, thank you, smiling, holding a door, all that, well, I just do it. Habit. And people have seen that as me flirting when it's not and things could have been bad if I'd not had a large male friend next to me. I compliment other women far more because it's safer. The only place I regularly compliment strange men is at DragonCon when we're passing going in opposite directions in a crowd and it's just "cool shirt" because that feels safe. <br />I've never been sexually or physically assaulted. I've had a rude gesture once and two iffy situations that didn't go anywhere. Compared to most other women I've met, I'm insanely lucky. <br />So yes, it'll be a great day when I can compliment a man just as I would a woman, and yeah, I think everyone should be able to say "awesome hair" or "great necklace" and have it be completely okay and safe. I loved hugging my grandmother, and I still miss that, and I always will. But she was also the same woman who told me I wasn't allowed to be angry at my mother (which my mother immediately corrected in one of the very few times I've seen her ANGRY). <br />For good or ill, we're human, and maybe right now we've given up some of the lovely '50s politeness for attempting to make sure everyone gets some bit of say. It'd be great if more people said hello, please, thank you, smiled, all that sort of thing, but I'm willing to have less polite for more safe. <br /><br />(I may have completely lost the thread of the plot in this, if so I apologize. It's a rather fraught thing, I think, for me, and I think for many women and men. We're all dealing with far more information and people then we ever really have before, and it's insanely messy and there's some amazingly smelly icky bits and there's also some wonderful bits and we're all trying to agree on which is which and fighting to keep the bits we think are icky away and the wonderful bits with us. Rather like having a baby, I'd think. Also, I really need to sleep. Like 2 nights of none at all need to sleep, so I fear I'm not organizing my thoughts well. I do hope I didn't offend, and I won't mind the cat hair if you don't mind the black and white and tan dog hair!)Melfinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14939155022202916671noreply@blogger.com