The Referendum 2023 is

 having a negative impact on all of us. We all know it even if not everyone is prepared to admit it. It is also a cause of concern for the safety of some.

Yesterday I went to a "group" house for several people with disabilities. This had been arranged some time ago. All five residents were going to be home and I was going there to help them fill out their voting papers. 

I know four of these people but the fifth resident was new to me. There was just one "carer" on duty when I arrived although there should be two. The carer is someone I know slightly and she actually looked relieved to see me.

"Yes, I've got their papers. I took them home with me because N... (one of the carers) was going to do it for them but I don't trust him."

I would not trust N... either. He isn't the sort of person to be given a caring role where vulnerable people are concerned. He also has some very radical beliefs.  

I take the envelopes for the postal votes from her but I can see there is something else. I wait but she still hesitates so I ask, "Is there something else bothering you?"

She sighs and says, "Look I don't want to stop anyone getting a vote but T.... I don't she should have a vote. I don't think she understands."

"I'll see what I think. We can send the form in blank if I can't get an answer from her. "

The carer looks relieved. One of the men I have gone to help tells me the same thing. He is intelligent but physically fragile. This will almost certainly be the last time he votes. He is now on oxygen all the time. Talking exhausts him but he tells me this. We have known one another since he was a small boy. 

"N... would have used our votes," he tells me. I don't doubt it. N... would see nothing wrong in that. He would believe everyone should vote the way he intends to vote.

I fill out four forms according to their wishes. I witness their attempts to write their names on the envelope - all done with varying degrees of success. Then I go to the fifth person who is in her wheelchair out in the sun. She is awake but looks blankly at me. I explain who I am and why I am there. There is no response so I try again. I talk in the simplest possible terms about making a choice. I try asking some simple questions she can answer by indicating "yes" or "no". There is still no response. The carer has come out. She has done the right thing and is standing well back as I talk. I ask her to ask the same questions. There is still no response.

"It's always like this. If she doesn't like the food she just turns her head away. She never answers anything."

I decide to send in a blank form and add a message saying that this person is not able to make a decision.  

"Thanks Cat," the carer tells me and I take the forms off and post them on the way home.

N.... phones me that night. He is furious. How dare I "interfere"? How dare I not let T.... vote? 

"You mean how dare I not let you have T...'s vote?" I ask. 

"I'm reporting you for this," he threatens me.

I wish he would but he won't - because I know who they would believe. I wonder how many other times this will happen in a vote that is dividing the nation.