and men work harder than women? There was a comment to this effect on Twitter/X yesterday. I beg to disagree very strongly indeed.
We seem to be at a point where women are actually expected to work harder than men in order to be considered "equal". They are expected to do the childbearing and the greater amount of parenting - and also "go to work".
There is this curious idea that being at home with the child(ren) is not work. There also seems to be a suggestion that cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing and all the other household chores are not "work". That they must be done is not taken into consideration. That these things can also be quite heavy physical work is also ignored.
"I have to go back to work. My career depends on it," is something we hear from a worried and harassed and exhausted looking young mother. Motherhood is not seen as a worthwhile career on its own. It also seems that employing people "part-time" is much more expensive so going to work for a limited number of hours is not an option for many.
Perhaps we need to make it easier for employers to employ people part time or at times which are mutually convenient without a greater cost to either party? Do we need to question the "I need to keep my career in order to be considered a successful and worthwhile human being" idea? Is it time to have a discussion about the work involved in being a mother, a partner, a housekeeper and much more? If women do want the "intellectual stimulation" of going to work do we need to start finding ways of them actually doing that and keeping up with their parenting responsibilities?
I cared for my parents and worked at a job which was often much more than forty hours a week. It was demanding but I did not have to take children to and from school, sport, music lessons, birthday parties and the like. I am not a mother doing all of that and also worrying about an elderly parent no longer able to properly care for themselves. I no longer wonder at grandparents being asked to fill the role of carers outside school hours, when children are ill and more. It is all too likely that more mothers would not cope without that help.
The idea that "men work harder than women" is ridiculous. Insisting "women need to go back to work" seems, at least in some instances, a way of making sure women work harder than men.
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Some time in the last few years, I heard a radio report of a caravan manufacturing firm that was short of workers. I think it was someone on the HR department who suggested tweaking the requirements so the jobs could be done by people working regular but shorter hours, which - surprise - fitted in with 9:00 to 3:30 school hours. Mothers appreciated not only the money but also learning new skills.
One alternative…
LMcC
Thinking back over all the decades, I am not sure that this is anything new. The "stay at home mom" was always a middle-class and up privilege. Which meant that social economic/race/immigration status/ethnicity played a huge role.
If you had enough privilege/,money then you hired nannies, nursemaids, governess and the like. Women have always worked on farms, in family stores, in laundries, taking care of others, sometimes even for pay on top of taking care of their homes. It was the advent of "labor saving devices" in the 1950s/on which remarkably changed the attitude that home "wasn't work" anymore. And changed the exceptions of everyone - house always clean (rather than once a week) laundry done all the time (rather than Monday wash/ Tues iron/ etc with the Saturday night bath....)
Yes, it became obvious during the pandemic as women left their jobs at higher rates than men that childcare/no school was a huge issue in the US. This has also been seriously influenced by current social structure and increase in single parent families.
There is NOTHING sacred or better about a woman staying home full time than a man. It is societies pressure that makes many think so. And increasing conservative societies/people would love to turn back time to decades ago.
Solutions? Anyone who wants a career shouldn't be penalized or thought less of than someone who can afford to stay home and take care of home/family. And then there is the issue of both parents putting in time. Dad coming in the door, being handed a cocktail, reading a newspaper, and being called to dinner is stupid and sexist.
As someone who worked full time while raising my family, as did my husband, we managed to balance what we both did with work. The income from two people also gave us more options, but we weren't minimum wage workers. Either of us stay at home full time - insanity. just my opinion.
I think what really infuriates me is the lack of flexibility. If women who want to work while the children are in day-care and school could work those hours it would be much easier but here the government has so many rules and regulations surrounding that sort of thing that employers give up and say people need to be "full-time" or not at all - and that makes it impossible for some employers and too expensive for others...and that then becomes a problem for far too many women (to say nothing of their excellent and much needed skills not being used).
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