I had a letter from a lawyer

yesterday. It was passed on to me as part of some wider legal proceedings. Other relevant messages were attached.

"It will make better sense if you read it from the bottom up," I was told. 

I read the letter first and thought, "Yes, I understand what is being said there." It was even possible for me to guess what had brought that particular letter into being. Then I went back and read "from the bottom up". 

Yes, there was the flow I expected. Brother Cat phoned me at that point and asked if I had seen the letter. He was not impressed. "Why do they write such gobbledegook? Why can't they just say things outright?"

I sympathised with him because I could have said exactly the same thing in three short sentences. This had been said in eleven long sentences.The problem is that this would not have been acceptable in a court of law. It would not have hedged around all the possibilities and more. It would just have started "this is the problem" and "this is what usually happens" and "this is what we are doing". 

The Senior Cat wrote letters but never enjoyed doing it. He preferred to phone Brother Cat and, out of a sense of duty, would phone the Black Cat. When I was away I would get a letter around exam time - hoping I would do as as well as I deserved to do. (He always thought I deserved to do well.) Later he would write letters only if he needed to write them. Then he would come to me and say something like, "Is this right? I know you will probably think it is too wordy." This would come from the man with a degree in Latin and English Literature and a real ability to tell a story.

I would read it through and then I would sigh and say, "Have you got a pen? Right...." Then I would dictate a new letter to him. It would always be much shorter.

"I don't know how you do it," he would tell me. I do but I never told him. (It was simply because the physical effort of writing things down has made me able to find ways to say some things in as few words as possible. It is not true of meanderings here!)

I sent a quick required response back to the solicitor who had sent the earlier missive, "Read and understood."

It was all I needed to say.  I know why "legalese" can be so "wordy" but Plain English makes more sense.