Losing a child before you die

is an appalling thing for any parent to go through. I watched C... go through it with the Whirlwind. I miss her every day but it is much worse for him. He is not the same person now. His cousin, with whom he now shares a house in the nation's capital, tells me C... is very quiet. He goes to work and is still doing an excellent job there but he rarely socialises. "It's a quiet cup of coffee with someone sort of socialising," his cousin told me. C... was never one for parties.

And yesterday other friends lost their daughter to motor neurone disease.  It is less than two years since she was diagnosed. It moved rapidly and viciously. Yesterday R... took her own life under this state's assisted dying laws. She had reached the point where each breath was an effort and she felt she could not carry on.

In making that decision I am sure R... made it with her family in mind as well. It has been a very, very difficult journey for them all. 

It is also going to be hard on the theatre community here. R... was heavily involved for many years. Even after her diagnosis she kept working as long as possible, perhaps even longer than she really should have but she had things she still wanted to do.

 Her father has a strong religious faith. Her mother has none. They have managed to live with this state of affairs for many years. I wonder what will happen now. Will R..'s death change that? I doubt it but it is another issue for them to face.

On Friday evening someone was stabbed to death on the notorious party strip in our CBD. He was a young man. His father is a policeman. How does his father go on doing his job? I wonder about these things and wish I could help such people but know I cannot. I do not understand.

Yesterday someone came to clean the white tile roof of this house. It is one of the many things that need to be done before the house is sold. I gave him sandwiches for his lunch and he told me they were like his mother used to make. (No, nothing fancy just plain old cheese for one and egg for the other.) He is only about thirty but no longer has a mother. He handed his plate back and then he said shyly, "I miss her doing that." 

Yes, we miss our parents when they go. We can miss them desperately but how much harder is it for a parent when they lose a child?