If you dress differently

then you should expect to be an object of attention.

It would surprise me if anyone reading this was not aware of the "she asked for it" argument when a scantily dressed young woman has been the victim of an attack.  Many people, perhaps a majority, would even agree with a statement like that. Why then do they not feel the same way about other forms of dress?

There is a good deal of anti-Muslim sentiment around at the moment. I have already mentioned how one person I know is afraid to go out at present. She dresses "traditionally". She covers her hair and wears long sleeves. In the country she migrated from nobody would think there was anything unusual or different about her form of dress. Here it is considered "different". It marks her out. We have enough women who dress that way for it to be acceptable but it still marks her out.

There is another woman I know who goes a little further than that. She covers her head, wears long sleeves on a dress which reaches her ankles. It is always plain grey in colour. I had to describe her to someone the other day and it was easy. She is the only person in this area who dresses like that. I know her. She converted to Islam when she married and, although now divorced, still dresses that way. It is her choice although it marks her out.

And then there are those who belong to the "exclusive Brethren" - a religious sect who keep themselves largely separate from the rest of us. The women wear headscarves or "tokens" in their long hair. They wear skirts which are always the wrong length to be fashionable. Their clothing is plain and conservative. They may not be quite so readily marked out but people often sense something is "different". 

If I need to go to the bank I must go a little further afield now. To do so I cross through a park near the Hindu temple and there are often women dressed in saris. I have exchanged a few words with them, often as I throw back a ball being used by the young children they are minding. I have worn a sari just once and by request. It was the right thing to do on that occasion. I admire their ability to keep the darn things on! Still, it marks them out here.

In all this I am conscious that it is largely the female of the species who dresses differently. Yes, we get the occasional Sikh turban around here but that is about all. We might think that Brethren boys are "nicely" dressed with their conservative haircuts and open neck sports shirts but they could be anyone. The supermarket staff are more readily identifiable in their "uniform" - which is barely that any more. I know most of them well enough to have joked with them about their array of "Christmas" t-shirts.

It seems to me there is nothing wrong with dressing differently. It is more the purpose for which you do it which matters. There is a time and a place for a bikini and that is almost certainly not in the supermarket. If you want to wear the hijab please do but be aware that not everyone else feels the same need. And please, do not hold me responsible for what happens to you when you make those choices because you believe you alone are "right" and I am "wrong". It does not work that way when you dress differently.