"No, you do not need money for that,"

is what I wanted to say. I managed to keep my mouth shut but it was difficult. 

I spent some time yesterday with a friend of mine who needed a bit of help. It was only holding one end of a very long tape measure but, as she said, "It is much faster with someone to help."

While I was there one of her neighbours called in wanting to know if F... would watch her children "for half an hour. I need to go and get one of the presents". 

F... gave in reluctantly on the understanding that the children came over to her place "with something to do".  The mother left and the three children arrived looking anxious.  Each of them had an i-pad. F... sighed and sent them to sit well away from each other on the lawn.

"I suppose I had to give in to that one but I have told G.... she has to make her own child-care arrangements over the holidays. I am not a free child minding service. They don't like me minding them anyway. I don't let them play with their screens."

"Expensive toys," I said.

"Hah! Their parents didn't pay for them," F... told me. I know G...'s partner is a very senior partner in a legal area. He earns a very, very good income every year. They have investments most people could only dream of, run two expensive cars and G... recently boasted that the mortgage on a five bedroom house with a swimming pool has been paid off. 

But no, they did not pay for the i-pads. The National Disability Insurance Scheme did because all three children are supposedly "autistic" and have "learning difficulties".

I have observed these children over a number of years. The eldest had some problems learning to read. He still prefers to kick a ball around. He can be sullen and moody, especially when he does not get what he wants. He can also be very pleasant and polite, especially if his mother is not around. The middle boy is almost silent. If what I have seen of his school work - homework done at F...'s place - is any indication he does not have learning difficulties but he does have some emotional issues. His older brother bullies him. The youngest boy is simply out of control. He knows how to behave in ways that will get him attention and will frequently say of school work, "I can't do it."  

I think all three boys have issues but they are not "autistic". Their "learning difficulties" are not related to any type of autism I have ever observed or read about. The oldest boy can read quite adult material without difficulty if it relates to something he is interested in. His maths is average for his age. He simply "hates school" and causes issues for other children because of it. The middle child is simply keeping his head down and trying not to attract attention. I estimate his work probably places him well above average - or would do if he was happy about saying more than a few words.  The youngest is very immature, the result of spoiling by his mother. 

F... talked to me quietly about the boys as we went on measuring up her new garden beds. "Their mother knows how to work the system. They all get some tutoring too. The i-pads were part of that."

F...was once a teacher of children who did have severe learning difficulties. She has worked with children who are severely disabled by autism. I think between us we know that this family is abusing the NDIS. 

It might be better to require the parents, or at least their mother, to attend classes in parenting. She needs to be told, "No, you don't need money for that. You need to spend time and effort on your children instead. You are encouraging them to be "disabled" and our taxes are paying for it." Last year they received a very large sum of money in assistance - assistance that could be better spent elsewhere. It won't happen.

Medication that does not work?

I see Johnson & Johnson have been hit with a class action for "knowingly selling medicines that do not work". Really?

There will be plenty of people who will put their hands up to be part of the action. I am not sure how they will prove they have taken things like "Codral" and "Benadryl" but I suppose it is possible. They might get a cent or two in "compensation" if the action works. It might bankrupt Johnson & Johnson I suppose...or it might not.

Of course the entire pharmaceutical industry relies on us taking medication to "cure", "recover", "treat", "control" and "live a normal life" for longer. And why do the hard work of going on a weight loss diet if that new wonder drug will do it for you?

Of course the pharmaceutical industry has produced some things of great benefit. They have taken the work of scientists and turned it into life-saving items like insulin, blood pressure medications and vaccines for otherwise deadly diseases. All that is surely to the good? At least one doctor friend reading this will tell me if I am wrong.

But there are other things I am much more concerned about. Anti-biotics should not be failing us - but is that the fault of the pharmaceutical companies or ours for over using them and diminishing their efficacy? I am fortunate in that I have not had cause to take an anti-biotic for well over twenty years. If I did get a bug that needed treating then how well would one of the current anti-biotic medications actually work?

When my grandparents were born "cholesterol" was not an issue. It may have been noted as far back as 1759 by de la Salle in France but it was not until 1955 that doctors started to express concerns about it. My paternal grandparents lived to their nineties. They ate red meat and drank full cream milk all their lives and never used cholesterol medication. Now they would probably be told to cut down the red meat or, preferably, not eat it at all. They would be told to drink only fat reduced milk, substitute plant based "margarine" for butter and never eat cream. On top of that they would be given "cholesterol lowering medication".  Perhaps they would have lived to 100?  

The pharmaceutical industry is there to make money for those who own the companies concerned or for their shareholders. As long as we recognise that first then perhaps we might cure ourselves of believing taking a pill or potion can provide an instant cure for everything? 

"Crimes against the person"

sounds dramatic and the story in the paper makes it seem dramatic too.The long list of rural communities and their crime rates makes depressing reading. It is especially so if you consider that these are the crimes which are actually reported. The actual rate would be even higher in some places, perhaps much higher. People have simply given up reporting the less serious offences against them because they know the police will not be able to do anything. They know that, even if the police do catch the perpetrators and charge them, the courts will let them off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist. They know the courts will do that because government policy is what requires them to do just that. The perpetrators are all too often seen as people who have come from poor backgrounds, people who have been abused themselves. Courts are supposed to take that into account.

Some of the children involved are untouchable - and they know it. If you look at the names of some of the areas where the crime rates are highest you will see they have indigenous names. Not all of them have indigenous names of course but the other places with the worst crime rates also tend to have high indigenous populations. If there is a one in three chance of being the victim of an offence against the person in a community with an indigenous name then it is surely something we need to be concerned about?

No, I do not have the answers to the many problems but I do know that some of the problems and some of the answers lie in a change to the present government policies. There would need to be a radical shift in attitudes for this to occur and I recognise that is unlikely.

We need to be listening to women who want "welfare cards" to be brought back in. If they want to be sure they can spend money on essentials to feed their families rather than on alcohol or gambling then why should they be denied that? It is not as demeaning as having to go to a poorly stocked foodbank and beg for food. These women do not view it this way at all. They regard it as getting government assistance to handle the alcohol, drug and domestic violence issues in their communities. Not everyone needs to have their income support planned in this way but there are women who welcome it. The level of domestic violence and public drunkenness was reduced and school attendance increased. Why then did the government go against the wishes of those involved and remove those cards? The idea that the cards were somehow wrong has more to do with what bureaucrats and their advisers want than what people wanted. The very people who say that others need to be independent and able to make their own decisions are actually encouraging dependence on welfare and taking away the capacity to make other decisions.

We also need to ensure the children are learning English and then learning in English. That of course goes entirely against the notion that "culture has to be preserved".  We expect children of migrants to this country to go to school and learn English. They do just that and many of them do extremely well. Why then do we do everything possible to hold back indigenous children by insisting that their "culture" needs to be preserved? This is especially the case when what it is claimed is being preserved is actually nothing like the culture it is said to be. All too often what is being taught is not a culture which is being preserved but a culture which is being created. How can it be anything else when they see twenty-first century ideas on satellite television in remote communities?  We are setting children and young people up to fail when we insist on teaching them "in their native language".  Nobody wants to lose languages or cultural identities but if the alternative is a lifetime of unemployment and violence then we need to rethink our ideas about the consequences.  

Go Fund Me? NO!

It seems that almost every day there is a story in our state newspaper of someone who needs help. Then there is the call for donations through something like a "Go Fund Me" page or to a charity, often a little known charity, or for a one-off event.

I have often wondered how deserving some of these people are. Perhaps I should not judge anyone in this way but it is still something I wonder about. I have never donated to any "GoFundMe" request and I am even less likely to do it now than I might have even several days ago.

Why? It is because, as I have always felt there might be, one of these "requests" turned out to be a scam. Apparently "loving" parents chose to shave a child's head, put a bandage on and photograph him sitting in a wheelchair to claim he had cancer and they needed the funds for medical treatment.

I am beyond appalled by this. Parents who are currently sitting by the bed of a critically ill child must, if they know anything about it, be completely bewildered and even more stressed by it. Why on earth would anyone do this - except to steal from others while doing great harm to both their children? Their children have been removed for now but the question has to be "are they fit to be parents?" What is going to do more harm - return them or have family bring them up?

And how will all this affect this sort of fundraising? There is another lot of fundraising going on right now because two violent teens - out on bail - have been arrested for causing very serious harm to a very young child. She is in hospital with a fractured skull. The injury she has incurred may have life long consequences. It is something which will take time to discover and the family will be facing ongoing trauma for a very long time. All this is well documented and the community in which the family live have rallied in support. That is right and proper and I hope the support is ongoing. I do not want to see it reduced because of the extreme selfishness of the parents who have lied to obtain a financial benefit.

It would be so good to be able to help everyone genuinely in need but I will also continue to be extremely wary of GoFundMe requests to help.  I am equally wary of some charities making demands we consider others at Christmas. One charity here has a very, very expensive advertisement running on prime time television. This same charity has been looking for donations in our local shopping centre. It has been there since the beginning of the month. While people may have donated early on I observed people just walking straight past on the last few occasions I have been there.

Yesterday I took the things a friend has gathered over the year to a collection point for a shelter. She has very little to give in the way of money but she embroiders small items that can be used. It is her way of giving back. When I passed them over one of the women working there looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I still have my little bag. It's so lovely."  Her life too has come full circle and, like my friend, she is now giving back to the charity which once helped her.

My friend was given help when she most needed it and she is giving her time and skills in return. It is not just money we need to give. It is time and skills. 

I admire both those women for giving what they can.  

Cheaper power bills

were  one of the many things the present government promised us would happen if we elected them. Like most election promises this has not happened. 

Did anyone really believe them? I suppose some people must have done. They may even believe that "subsidy" myth - that somehow we were all given money towards our power bills. I know I was not "given" anything. This is taxpayer money, money we have put into government coffers, being returned to us. Shh...you do not dare mention that our power bills are still some of the highest in the world. They will remain that way too. Our small population spread over vast distances is always going to be an issue.

We just need to face facts. Our standard of living is too high. 

Yesterday this house, about to go on the market, was "styled". It meant people coming in and moving most of our comfortable furniture out and putting in other furniture. They took down our pictures and put up blobs of brown. They "artistically" placed more cushions than this house has ever seen. I have strict instructions on how to recover my sleeping mat with a white spread, two very large pillows and two cushions. 

The girl who designed the layout told me, "You'll hate it." I loathe it. I can see where she is coming from but yes, I hate it. The only thing to be said is that it was a great deal cheaper than it might have been to have this done.

The company which did the job consists of just four people. The was G... "the stylist". Then there was her boss, his very shy wife, and his brother. They come from India and they are obviously workers. The house was transformed in two hours. There was no standing around.

It is heavy physical work moving furniture, making up beds and making sure that everything they have brought in is immaculate. No, it is not the way any house really looks but this is about "presentation". We have compromised a little. I am after all still living in the house. G... actually said, "It actually looks better this way but I don't know what the agent will say."

I don't either but he knows I am still here. I can get several things out of the way in a few days but not just yet. That does not bother me and I do not think it will bother him. What bothered me was how hard those four people worked. I know it would not have been so fast with any local people I know. I know it is the way they simply just "got on with the job" that allows them to make a living out of this. They are really working for what they get. I am also sure they go home at night and relax at least for long enough to recharge their inner "battery" for the next day. It is the only way they could continue to work at that pace.

We need more people to work like that, a lot more.   Our power bills might not be cheaper but we might be able to pay them if we all worked like that. 

Banning protests

from outside places of worship may or may not work. I do not know. What I do know is that there is a great deal less tolerance towards people who do worship at all. 

Yesterday I overheard someone being ridiculed because they attend church. I will give that young man credit for simply saying, "I have my beliefs. You have yours." He then walked away ignoring the jeers which followed him. 

I doubt I believe anything like the things he believes. From the way he was dressed I suspect he belongs to a very strict religious sect. I do not doubt he has the right to believe those things. Provided he does not attempt to make me believe them as well then we would probably get along just fine.

What disturbs me is not so much what other people believe but their demands that the rest of us believe it too. A major department store in another state apparently did not put up a Christmas display this year. They did not do it because others threatened to protest about it. What should have been fun for children to go and view was stopped by a small group of people who threatened there would be trouble if it went ahead. 

Here we no longer celebrate Christmas in at least one child care centre. One parent complained several years ago. She was backed up by a few more. The parent in question has no religious beliefs at all. The parents of children of other faiths had no problems with Christmas being celebrated but one mother managed to persuade three or four more that the celebration of a great festival should not go ahead. All the children missed out on something which should have been a memorable occasion. Was that right or wrong? Was it right or wrong when the same centre did acknowledge Diwali?

I remember Christmas celebrations at infant school. We would be told the story and write about it ourselves. We would decorate the classroom with paper chains we had made ourselves after measuring and cutting. We talked about Christmas trees and the meaning of them. There was a great deal to do and learn in all this. On the last day of school we would have a "party" with paper hats we had made and cherries to eat after we had eaten our sandwiches. 

It was all "fun" but I doubt a child of today would find it enjoyable in the same way. Most of us would have been church goers but many of the city children would never have been into a church. Even children in rural areas where church going was once an unbreakable Sunday ritual no longer go to church.

As we passed the lads jeering at the church goer the friend I was with remarked that she saw the changes as having begun with the demands of a few. These are the people who wanted the shops to be open all day on Saturdays and those who felt organised sport should be played on Sundays. That other people have to work in the shops and that teachers and students have to give up their Sundays to sport is of no consequence to those who see it as convenient for themselves. They simply shrug and say "Nobody goes to church anymore."

Perhaps people don't go to church. Beliefs have changed for many, especially the younger generations. I can't help wondering though, is it right that the beliefs of a minority should dictate how the majority enjoy something that does no harm and brings great pleasure?  

Exam results came out yesterday

and I know it is not the end of the world even if it seems that way for some students. The stress of this was made much worse because of an error in calculating the final result for a number of students, particularly the students in one school.

It might not seem like much and the error has since been rectified but imagine, if you can, what it would be like to believe you had done much less well than you actually had.  It has to be devastating. If you have really put all you can into something and have even been led to believe you have done well then a very poor result must be humiliating. 

All the students I gave a little help to have done about as well as I expected they would do. It is about as well as they expected they would do too. None of them are brilliant students but I believe I can honestly say they worked hard and did the best they could. I know the parents of one student will be disappointed but the student himself will not be. He does not wish to follow the career path his family had mapped out for him and I doubt he could do it. He wants to do something equally worthwhile and he has the marks to do that. I hope his parents will accept that too. He worked for his results.

There are other stories like this too, many of them. There is also the human error in calculating the final scores and much more. I told some of the students how our results were given to us. They were horrified. Our results appeared in the state newspaper for everyone to see. Even our teachers had to wait to see our results that way. Some students were permitted to go in to the city and pick up papers which were quite literally hot off the press. We were never allowed to do that.  

In our family we had to wait until the Senior Cat opened the paper which had landed on the front lawn with a thud. He did not keep us waiting long but we had to wait. We would watch his expression anxiously as he ran a finger quickly down to our results and then he would give a nod and we would know that everything was all right. He would read the results out to us and then breakfast preparations would take place as he read slowly through the results of all the students in our school. He would fill in pre-prepared pages and be ready to talk to disappointed students and parents. He would be ready to congratulate or commiserate, to give advice or warnings and much more. 

Such days were horrible, they really were. It did not matter how well or badly we had done those exam results days were no fun. The phone would ring constantly. The teachers would be in and out analysing the results. "Cat did well but what about J..." I can hear someone saying even now. I had received a higher grade than the girl who was supposed to be better at Geography than I was. It was not a pleasant sensation at all.  Would J... talk to me when she next saw me?

At university we all had numbers. We could guess who some people were of course but most of the time we had no idea. I remember my first year at law school. "The results are up!" someone shouted and people rushed off to read them on "the wall". I waited until the rush was over, indeed until my first year tutor came to find me in the library and say, "Go and look Cat. It's all right."  My results were far, far better than I expected but could not read my number on the "wall" at all. It was there of course but I kept thinking there was a mistake because law was so different from anything else I had studied. The following years were no easier. I can remember all this and wonder if it might be the same for students who have come from cultures where rote learning is much more common. Having to express their own ideas here is so much harder for them.

And now it will be a new group of students doing their final year of school in the coming year and we will go through it all again. It is not easy and I hope I won't ever forget what it was like.  Results day is not fun!

The "Bali Nine" members

who have now been returned here most certainly do not recognise how very, very fortunate they are. Not only did they not face a firing squad like the two considered to be ring leaders but they did not die in the appalling conditions which are an Indonesian prison.

Yes, perhaps they were young but they knew what they were doing was wrong. They knew what the consequences might be if they were caught.

They are now out of prison, out of Indonesia and back here and "free". I cannot help wondering what they will do with the rest of their lives. Who will want to employ them? What saleable skills do they have, if any? 

They were ready and willing and prepared to take the risks they took. At the time it did not matter to them that they were attempting to bring something into this country which would have caused so much misery and death to others.  I cannot help wondering if they feel any regret at what they attempted to do - or whether any regret is just that they were caught. Perhaps I am wrong but I suspect the latter rather than the former.

Our Prime Minister may see his role in the negotiations for their release as some sort of political coup but there will be a price to pay. I would like to think it would be at the ballot box but it is more likely to be a concession to Indonesia. There will be a cost of some sort and it might be a very heavy price indeed.

These men will need to be watched for the rest of their lives.  

Are the "activists" taking over?

There was a column in the paper yesterday suggesting that "activists" are "taking over" the education system. Yes we are short of teachers and too many of the good teachers do seem to be leaving. Is that trend really leaving behind only "activist" teachers, those who want to be there to influence young minds into "politically correct" ways of thinking?

It would be ridiculous to believe that of course but there might also be more than a grain of truth in the idea that some of those teachers who have remained do believe this is their role. I talked to a small group of them recently. They all saw it as their role to "inform" their students about issues like "climate change", "racism" and "gender diversity". What they were in schools to teach was something very different. One was there to teach Chinese, another to teach social sciences and the rest to teach maths and science. They all said they would like to have more actual teaching time but, even as they said this, they were telling me that "other things are just as important now". Really? I find that hard to believe.

I am now wondering what school should be about. What is so important about school? When I was a very small kitten by no means all children went to "kindy" or kindergarten. There was no "day care" or "pre-school" either. If your parents, usually your mother, felt so inclined you went to kindergarten for a few hours a week. A good many children arrived at school with no ability to read anything, not even their own name. I remember all the pictures above the hooks on which we hung our coats and hats and bags. The teacher had given each child a choice of picture. Like one or two others mine was marked out by my name because I could read. I could read not just my name but read actual books. It was considered very interesting to have any child who recognised their name at all.

Now things are different. If a child reaches school age unable to read their name and recognise letters then that child is considered to be "behind". It is also expected they will be familiar with a great many other ideas, some of them very "woke" ideas indeed. There is apparently a need to ensure they are "informed" about all sorts of issues, many of them perhaps beyond their understanding. That does not matter of course. What matters is that they know and, hopefully, believe what is "correct". This is how the earnest activists see their role as teachers.

These ideas pervade all of education now, even into universities. It is important to ensure the students are "aware". I would say "indoctrinated" but that would mark me out as a dangerous radical - probably of the far right! If I suggested that students should be taught to actually think about issues and the potentially many sides to an idea it would be met with horror. We cannot have children exposed to different points of view. If we do then they may not believe the correct position. Such things could be dangerous.

Taking a "gap year" was not something we knew anything about when I was at school. I am now wondering whether it might not be the best possible thing for students to do. If they have to get out into the "real" world, even for just a short time, then it is just possible that they might be confronted with a range of ideas. It will be hard, perhaps almost impossible, to change opinions by then but perhaps it might cause black and white thinking to turn to grey sometimes. It might help and we might return to some of the genuinely creative thinking we need in order to progress.

Challenging a will

is something this family knows too much about. I have written elsewhere about what happened to us. It is not something I would want anyone else to go through.

It was therefore interesting to read that a grandson in a very high profile property family is now attempting to challenge a will. He has put in an "urgent" challenge for his case to be heard under the "old rules". There will be new legislation coming into effect at the beginning of 2025 and that would perhaps bar him from challenging. Under the new legislation it will be much more difficult for grandchildren to challenge a will.

I am wondering how well this will work. In this case the challenger has at least one serious drug related conviction. Does this make a person less worthy of an inheritance? Perhaps the court will take that into consideration when the time comes.

It may be less common than it was but there are still instances of the bulk of an estate going to the males, sometimes just the first male, of the next generation. In this country it has nothing to do with a "title" being passed on but a belief on the part of the testator that this is how things should be done. Often it carries with it a belief that the beneficiary will see to it that a female or females are cared for. 

The problem is that it does not always work that way. Not far from here an elderly woman I knew was left homeless. Her son inherited the estate which included the house, an expensive car and a portfolio of investments which brought in a very comfortable income. There was also the bank account in his father's name. The inheritance was on a verbal understanding that this woman would be cared for until her death. Instead of making sure his mother was comfortable this man informed her she had to look for other accommodation and that there would be nothing for her. It took several years to sort out the resultant mess and, while something was negotiated, it was far from what was actually intended. 

There was also the case of the step-daughter who had cared for her step-father for many years. He, rightly, left a substantial share of his estate to her. Her step-siblings challenged the will and claimed she had "undue influence" over their father. As they had done nothing to help care for him they eventually failed to get all they wanted but still obtained more than which the will entitled them to.

Perhaps the new legislation will provide a more rapid conclusion to problems like this.

Now there is another story in the paper of a woman who has been convicted of the murder of the man she allegedly inherited from. It has taken many years to sort out the associated problems and it is only now the family can hold a funeral. If the new legislation can prevent this then perhaps it will be of value.

What the new legislation will not do is save the emotional stress that any sort of problem with a will can cause. That is perhaps the thing that matters most of all.  

Teaching maths would not be

my number one choice of occupation. I was never particularly fond of "arithmetic" at school. I usually got things right. I would manage ten out of ten for "mental" arithmetic. I knew the difference between a square and a rectangle in geometry. I certainly knew my "times tables". Mum saw to that!

When I was teaching I would sometimes fling a "five times eight" or "seven times six" at a child who was not concentrating on the task at hand. "Yes, you do need to know it all that well," I would tell them. There were sighs and groans but I kept telling them how useful it would be.

Times tables are useful. Being able to add, subtract, multiply and divide is useful too. My class made paper houses using all those things.  We struggled with "bases" and "set theory". Unless any of them went on to do mathematics at university I doubt anyone in the class remembers any of that - but they might still know how to work out how many tiles they need when they do their bathroom renovations.

I thought of all this as I read yet another complaint that we are not teaching enough maths and not enough of the right sort of maths in schools. The Senior Cat worried about this and about the failure to phonics and spelling and grammar and many other things. He would argue that "the basics" or "the building blocks" should come before the "coding" and more. Yes, we want people who can write programs for computers but we also need people who can work out many tiles are needed to tile the bathroom. The person writing about this was saying much the same thing. 

In the latest round of NAPLAN results it has been interesting to discover that the schools with the "best" results (the highest scores) are schools where there has been a return to more traditional teaching methods. I know there are arguments for and against this but I saw the old "Qualifying Certificate" papers my parents did and then looked at the "Progress Certificate" papers my brother and I did. We had never heard of coding, indeed computers were almost non-existent. My brother knows a great deal about that sort of thing now but he has also made sure his own children and then grandchildren know "the basics". I made sure the Whirlwind knew her times tables and that she could apply her arithmetic skills to every day life.

I had to call in at a house where there is a nine year old boy. He was doing his "homework", in this case a project which spread over the weekend. He was making a model and struggling to work out if he had a piece of cardboard which was big enough. His father was trying to help and getting the response, "But we don't do it like that!" I thought it was going to end in tears but his mother stepped in and guided him through the process in "the old way". Both his parents were given a much more traditional education and they think things like "times tables" are important. 

I wonder if children might be more interested and ready to learn if we could show them how some of these basic skills apply to everyday life?  It might also save them from some frustration. 

I also wonder if teaching some of these basic skills in "the old way" and expecting children to behave in ways which allow them to learn might save much more than frustration - for everyone.  

Playing with mud

is something I have not done for years. Perhaps it would be soothing right now.

I went to a funeral yesterday and was left wondering yet again at the way some people outlive so many of their family and their friends. My paternal grandfather once told me something about this. "I have lived too long. All my friends have gone."

Another friend, a migrant to this country, once told me, " I have nobody left to whom I can say 'remember when' ". She was speaking about her childhood.

It is perhaps why it was important for someone else I knew to return to Holland in her old age. She did not have Alzheimer's but there were moments of loss and confusion brought on by grief. It is so much more difficult when you have needed to change your language as well. Another Dutch friend, who spoke excellent English but always spoke Dutch with her husband, would also use Dutch with me. She did not do this with everyone but I had known her almost all my life. I had stayed with them occasionally and they treated me as they treated their own children. They spoke to us in Dutch even while we answered them in English. (That I usually understood was more to do with the situation than any real understanding of the language!)

M... had another sort of language. She was ninety-nine and ten months when she died. She did not quite reach the century.  That would have infuriated her. I think she was frustrated towards the end of her life. She had always been a very busy person, busy in her garden, busy making scones in her kitchen, busy making a quilt for someone. Years ago now she taught me how to do a rarely used cast on in knitting. "Of course I'll show you. It's very useful." Yes it has been useful. 

I would sometimes pass her home on my way to and from another destination. If the bright yellow car was there I would stop for a moment. She would always have something to show, almost always something for someone else.

And there were the pots she had once made. For her they had been a form of art therapy. She had lost her first love. Like so many he did not come back from "the war". He was an airman. It took her several years to find another love, this time a returned sailor. In between she had held down jobs and begun to learn to, as she once put it to me, "play with mud". She told me it calmed her. It was a physical pleasure to feel the clay under her fingers. I have watched potters at work on many occasions and tried to imagine the sensation of bring a lump of "dirt" to life. I love the idea of being able to start over again if something goes wrong in the early stages of creation. Not all crafts allow for that!

My uncle, also a potter, thought highly of M's work. No, she was not a professional. She did not mix with professional potters the way he did but he knew there was "something" there in her work that he could relate to or needed. I suspect it was that need to play with mud.   

Flying the flag should not

be a contentious issue...but apparently it is. 

It is claimed that this country has three national flags. There is the flag  this sports mad country competes under. Yes, that's the one with the Union Jack in the corner and the stars. There is also the "Aboriginal" flag which is red and black and yellow and the Torres Strait Islander flag.

The present government has been making a habit of standing in front of all three when making any and every announcement. That it is not the correct protocol does not seem to bother them at all.  

It is not correct because only one of those flags represents all Downunderites. The other flags should only be there if the matter being announced or under discussion is part of a conversation with that particular group. The aboriginal and islander flags do not represent all of us,

In my Guiding days we were taught how to fly the flag, how to raise it and lower it and how to fold it. It has been a very, very long time since I did it and I doubt I could remember all the correct procedure now but I do know that what we also managed to learn at the same time was respect for that flag. The other two flags did not even exist then. They did not come into official use until 1995 and even then they were considered controversial.

Yes, they are controversial. A national flag should represent all citizens of that country. The indigenous and islander flags represent a very tiny number of people and, while very important to those they represent, they do not belong to all of us. 

The mad(e)ness of Christmas cake

is something I should not even be contemplating right now but I am in the midst of trying to actually do it.

I almost never make cake of any sort. I am not an eater of cake. Yes, freshly baked cake is lovely but I cannot be bothered with the mess beforehand. Most people I know like cake well enough but I suppose we are all conscious of the "middle age spread". We are conscious of the need to eat sensibly and healthily. We might eat biscuits but not cake.

All this is true unless it is Christmas...and then there is cake. It has to be fruit cake of course. I might eat a sliver or two. I prefer shortbread for my Christmas munchie treats.

So, why do I make it? Why do I go through the laborious process of soaking fruit, beating butter and dark brown sugar, breaking in eggs one at a time and then adding flour and spices? It would be so much easier to just buy a cake from that charity which sells thousands of them. They make a good cake, or so people tell me.

No, cousin T... and his partner expect cake. It is my Christmas present to them. Middle Cat and her partner expect cake. Neither of them should be eating it but this is Christmas and they do not indulge in fruit cake at any other time. 

I use a very old recipe and I double it. If I double the number of ingredients it will make three good sized cakes or, more likely, two good sized cakes and then multiple small cakes to give to other people. I can give small cakes to elderly friends who no longer do any baking at all. 

So yes, in the midst of moving from one abode to another I am making cake...and at least, in the midst of all the madness, it smells like Christmas. 

Our Prime Minister needs to stand up or

resign and leave politics altogether. That would be the preferable thing. At very least he needs to stand aside. He is not a leader.

It was only yesterday, after two full days, that he managed to call the arson at the synagogue what it really was - a terrorist attack. That is not good enough.

Listening to him I am absolutely certain he had memorised words written for him by someone else. He was apparently still unable to put into his own words that what had happened was in the nature of a terrorist attack. I have little doubt he does not believe that any sort of terrorism occurs in this country. When you hear him speak you do get the feeling that he believes everything is fine for the most part and that this sort of thing is nothing more than a very isolated incident, the sort of thing we do not need to worry about.

I don't believe that. I have noticed changes and some of those changes have been very recent. Parliament has changed.  There have been some vile racist incidents there. There are ways to protest in parliament but they do not include the ways which cause you to be removed or to use the sort of language that hurts others. Parliament should be there to set an example not as some sort of exception. Yes, it has always been an unruly place at times but recently there have been instances which go far beyond that.

On our international news service yesterday I watched a frail old man ask a much younger man, a migrant to this country, to take on a role of leadership. As he gave his blessing to the younger man I could not help but see the anxiety in the eyes of the younger man. Will he be able to do the job and will he be able to do it effectively and with humility? I am not Catholic and the Pope doing such things means little to me in a religious sense but it means a lot in other ways. It is an example to follow.

The Prime Minister's lack of leadership in all this is simply encouraging the very worst elements in our society, the racist and misogynistic elements, to do more. 

 

Supermarket bags

require the attention of a therapist specialising in manual dexterity skills. Such a person could then make a fortune teaching the rest of us how to open them.

Our local supermarket has two different types of "plastic" bags. Our greengrocer also has two different types.  

There must be a reason for this as the greengrocer is very environmentally conscious. He buys local and in season whenever he can. The source of his produce is labelled and you can be certain that if the garlic comes from Mexico it is only because there is no garlic available here. Yes, you can buy strawberries in the middle of winter if you must but they will come from interstate. There will not be many available and they will be expensive. Such strawberries are not likely to be what he considers "best quality".  He will suggest an alternative and much tastier fruit.

And he uses "plastic bags" - or does he? There are bags there, on rollers. You can tear them off and then, if you can open it, you can use it to place your purchase in. These bags are soft and slippery but not the sort of slippery-open sort. Somehow they stay determinedly shut.

I take my own bags of course. I have been doing it for years. I have been doing it ever since they stopped providing outsize paper bags for groceries. They may not have been the most environmentally friendly thing out but our cats loved playing in them. The supermarket "recyclable" pseudo woven plastic bag was not the same. I went over to the lightweight nylon bags which can be washed. They wear out eventually but, taken care of, they do last a long time.

But the other bags you ask? Yes, I do need to use those at times. The person at the check out does not want to pick up badly behaved beans from the floor or chase loose lettuce leaves across the counter. The staff know me well enough that they will take my cucumber and put it on top of the lettuce leaves. They will add a capsicum to the tomatoes after weighing both separately. We understand each other perfectly well.

And they will even on occasion patiently open the "plastic" bag for me as I struggle with it. These bags are made from "potato" they tell me. Edible? No. 

And some things still require something sturdier it would seem. I have not yest worked out what these things are or how the decision is made but are the bags any easier to open? No. They are apparently not "plastic" any more but they continue to be a challenge to open.

I bought some mushrooms yesterday and, wonder of wonders, they came with their very own paper bag. I can recycle that today.  

Setting fire to a synagogue

is not something I could have contemplated happening in this country even twenty years ago. Yesterday I was not surprised, just sickened.

I watched members of the congregation so carefully carrying out the precious Torah scrolls and felt angry. No, I am not Jewish but I do know something about what those scrolls mean to Jews. I believe those scrolls are handwritten by a specially trained person. That alone would make them something very special. They consist of the first five books of the Bible and I understand those books are of especial importance to Jews.

If the building had been a mosque and those scrolls had been the Koran there would have been riots in our streets. I do not doubt that for a moment. There would have been young Muslim men protesting loudly and violently. There would have been condemnation and more condemnation.

Yes, the Prime Minister did speak out and condemn the attack on the synagogue. The Leader of the Opposition did too. There was some media coverage which led to them speaking out. The Premier of Victoria did visit the site. All of them knew something was almost certainly going to happen even though our federal government recently voted with others for a "two state solution" at the United Nations. The problem is that a two state solution is not what everyone wants. Hamas wants to see Israel wiped off the maps and they have supporters, powerful supporters.

The Jewish community took the attack far more quietly than many people expected. Someone here said to me, "I would have thought they would have been yelling and screaming and demanding vengeance." What would that have done? 

I came home from that conversation and took out the handwritten book I own. I looked at it again and found the words I was looking for

"Time past and time present are both perhaps present in time future and time future contained in time past". 

The words come of course from TS Eliot's "Burnt Norton".  I wondered about this again. Can we ever escape this thousands of years old hatred by some of the Jews?  Why this "we are right and you are wrong"?

It is too easy to forget - Christ was a Jew. 

 

Give us "feedback"!

We demand feedback! You have to give us feedback! Why haven't you given us feedback? We rely on your feedback!

And so it goes on. I suppose I have just lied to the last company after they demanded feedback on no less than five occasions. I told their "survey" I could not remember the transaction.

I do remember getting the product in question but the occasion itself is not seared into my memory. It was a very ordinary transaction. It was just the sort of thing I expected. I ordered. They responded. I paid. They delivered. That was the end of the story.

This "feedback" thing seems to be relatively new. Companies seem to be demanding it in order to advertise and in order to compete with similar companies. 

My view is that, if they are good, word will get around anyway. Word will get around if they are not good too. I am more likely to look for negative reports in order to avoid businesses. There is also what I call "the telephone test" to seek out competent businesses. If someone answers the phone within a short space of time and knows their own business they will get credit for it. If they do not know but call me back when they said would then it is much more likely I will want to do business with them. This is by no means foolproof but it is at least an indicator.

I get particularly irritated by people who refuse to accept my failure to respond to their demands. One individual actually told me I "had to respond". I told him I had to do no such thing. I also said I had not purchased the service in question and was not intending to do so. He was particularly persistent. He called back three times. The third time I put the receiver down firmly. 

I also know enough about writing surveys and conducting surveys to know that the format can influence the outcome. Ask me to give a rating on a scale of one to ten with no reference points and I want to strangle the writer of the questionnaire. There is no point in collecting data like this if you are looking to improve performance. It means nothing. If you are simply looking at ways to say "Eight out of ten dentists recommend our toothpaste" it might work - but that is not the same as "eight out every ten dentists recommend it".

Christmas geese and turkeys

and a few other food related things have passed through my mind recently. I have done nothing about any of them.

In previous years I have usually made large quantities of shortbread, lebkuchen and "honey crackles" - the latter made from cornflakes, sugar, honey and butter if you are not familiar with the term. It has been time consuming.

I have also made Christmas cake. My cousin T... expects cake. R... does most of the cooking in their household but fruit cake is something that he has not yet troubled to make. Why make it if Cat can do it instead?

I may get around to doing some cooking but my excuse this year has been the "moving house" one. I know I can only take that so far. I still have to post Christmas letters. I have started on that but my young friend S... needs a letter of his own, not some adult missive of dubious interest to a twelve year old boy.  It is more fun to do that than think about Christmas food.

I went into the third supermarket yesterday afternoon - on my way back from taking yet another load to the charity shop. The other two are in the main shopping centre. This one is across the road. It is that German origin store. I rarely go in there. I dislike it for a number of reasons, not least because the staff are very unfriendly. They had none of the ingredients I was looking for apart from strawberries. W... is coming to lunch so I will need to go to my favourite supermarket shortly. They will have what I need. They will have the ordinary every day things that can be turned into the extraordinary if I want to do it. I can get milk produced at a farm not too far away ....and think of the cows and the dairy farmers as I do it. I can get tomatoes and be thankful that the local suppliers to this supermarket were not hit by the recent disease troubles. These are ordinary, everyday things that should come from local places but the third supermarket has nothing like that. It is another reason I rarely shop there.

What infuriated me even more than the lack of the ingredients I was looking for however was the presence of something else. Christmas is coming up - so why on earth are there hot cross buns on the bakery shelves? Will someone please explain?

Charging us to use our own money?

Apparently this is what one of the "big four" banks in this country is now planning to do. If people want to get cash anywhere other than from an ATM they are planning on charging them $3. 

"Fair enough," I hear you saying, "Someone has to be employed to pass that cash over." 

I don't think that is a proper answer. ATMs are disappearing around here. There used to be six within a hundred metre radius of our local shopping centre. Now there are two. One is accessible from outside. The other, not serviced by a bank, is inside. It is inaccessible outside the times the centre is open. The outside ATM is "out of service" too often for it to be completely reliable. The next ATM is several kilometres away. 

It seems however that cash is going the way of pass books and being able to go into a bank and actually get served by a teller. There are shops which will no longer take cash. It seems they would rather do without your business than have the difficulty of finding a bank willing to actually take cash and being able to do that inside business hours.

The bank which is now planning to charge people to take out cash once had a very busy branch in the shopping centre. There were almost always queues of people in there. The local businesses banked there. They handled money for the local council and much more. They had a dedicated teller machine too. All that has gone. The local post office (not open on Saturdays) now has to handle some of the bank's work. They do not have extra staff to do this.

Most of us have no choice but to use a bank. It is not simply a matter of "convenience" but a necessity.  They should be there as a service not to themselves but to the "customers".  It will be interesting to see if the bank in question has to backtrack on this "fee" - or whether it will encourage other banks to do the same.  

Pardoning your own child

may seem "unpardonable" but is it really as bad as it looks to some? Perhaps President Biden should not have done it but I think it is understandable.

To put it bluntly, "Yes, Hunter Biden was treated differently." Had he been the son of a "John Smith" the matter might never have got that far. It almost certainly would not have been reported in the media, especially the world wide media. In such things it matters who and what your parents are.  

I went from being "the teacher's kid" to "the head's kid".  It was the same for my siblings. I started school at four years and five weeks old and I started as the teacher's kid. I was not in his class. I was in a lower class but it was a small country school and "everyone knew everyone". I was expected to behave absolutely perfectly. There were no concessions at all. 

From the start I think I knew that I was treated differently. There was a conscious effort not to treat me any differently and in doing so I was treated that way. I was punished for slight infractions when other children were simply told to behave. I was never chosen to be "leader" or "in charge" of a group. Perhaps they thought I was never good enough but now I think it is more likely I was not to be shown any favours.

My brother and I were never allowed to win prizes for anything. We might be "top" (and we usually were academically speaking) but we were never allowed to win the prizes given. It was explained to us that this could not happen. The only school prize I have is the history prize I got on graduating from primary school. I was allowed to have that because everyone got a prize for something!

We went on through our secondary years the same way. I am sure our parents thought they were doing the right thing. This was especially so in rural areas where "favouritism" of the head's kids would have caused more than a little discussion. It was possibly as difficult for them as it was for us. 

I often think of things like that when I read of "X's son - or daughter" in a negative news story. They may have been caught speeding a few kilometres over the limit but it will be a court appearance, their name in the media and the maximum penalty. For other teenagers it can be as little as a slap on the wrist and a warning not to do it again. Yes, they do get treated differently and their parents get less sympathy, indeed the behaviour of their children can be used against them. 

Perhaps President Biden should not have done what he has done...but I have little doubt that President Trump would do the same. He might even pardon himself.  

There are no books

for intelligent twelve year old boys who need large print...or not that I can find.

Before you say "yes, there are" I am not talking about the books for dyslexic children. I have been hunting for novels that other boys or girls that age who enjoy reading might want to read. I have been looking for something like that as a gift, not a "this has to be read for school" sort of book.

There are large print books in our local library, quite a lot of them. They are all in the "adult" section. Many of them are light romance or westerns or books from the first half of last century. For years a staid (or perhaps "prim and proper") committee at the Royal Society for the Blind decided which books would be made available in large print. There were many things which were considered "unsuitable" - because of the content. I remember a friend of mine commenting on this. She spent years reading to her severely visually impaired partner. One reason to do so was because he wanted books that were considered to be "not the sort of thing the blind should be hearing about".  

I believe that attitude has changed somewhat but the range of books is still, inevitably, limited. What concerns me more is the lack of books for younger readers. I spent some hours searching the internet for something - and came up with nothing. There was not even a whisper of one with a Downunder setting. 

Reading a book using one of the magnifying or other devices now available is not the same thing. It is not the same as being given a new, just for you, book and feeling the feel of it or smelling that "new book" smell that awakens the taste buds of imagination. 

I went to our local independent bookshop and talked to one of the staff. It was something new to her. "I'll see if Gardner's can come up with anything Cat" was the best she could do. In the midst of the Christmas rush I doubt she will even remember. I will remind her next year.

The market for such books will not be big but it is possible to do things that could not once be done...perhaps it is time we did.

For other purposes I also looked at "wordless picture books". Most of them don't come close to what I have in mind. They still rely on language and, all too often, prior knowledge of a story. It is just possible something can be done about that though. I can at least think about that as I am packing and sorting - because everyone has a right to read in their own way.  

"I am not sending her back to school

next year," I heard someone say.

She was talking on her phone as we waited in the queue in the supermarket. Anyone could hear the conversation - whether we wanted to or not.

I admit I was interested. Was she planning on "home-schooling" her child? It seems she was.

I wondered if the child was being bullied. Apparently not. Over the next minute I discovered that the child was "bored", "not getting enough to do", "fed up with all the woke garbage" and more. It was interesting. I wondered how the parent planned to handle all this.

She went on her way. I paid for Middle Cat's shopping and was on my way out when I was hailed by a couple I know.  They were talking to the parent who was not sending her child back to school.

I stopped out of curiosity as well as politeness. I was introduced and the subject of school attendance was brought up. Did I know the school "somewhere near the tram line" which took in students on ability rather than age? 

They did not know much more. All they had was a vague memory of someone knowing someone who had a child who went to the school. I do know of the school. I have never been there but I researched it when it seemed a possible choice for the granddaughter of former neighbours. Was this what the mother wanted to know about? 

She looked at me in amazement and immediately looked at the school's website on her phone. How much did I know about the place? I really know very little.  

"Would you like to tell me something about your daughter?" I asked. I know all too well that some parents think their child is a genius when they are really simply intelligent. Why would someone pull their child out of school unless there really was evidence of very high intelligence...and why do it even then?

I did not have as much time as I would have liked to spend with this woman. It was an all too familiar story of a child who obviously is intelligent, very intelligent. She began school this year with excitement and now "hates" going. Her psychological test results indicate she really is at or near the top of the scale. If what her mother told me is correct (and I sensed restraint rather than exaggeration) then yes, she needs much more stimulation than she is getting at school. 

I left the mother saying she would be talking to her partner and, if he agreed, they would be contacting the school we had talked about. I also left wondering what I would have done to stimulate the child if she had been in my classroom. Would I have been able to give her the extra she so obviously seems to need? I hope so...but I also know how difficult it is for a teacher to find that time. Hopefully things might be different for this child next year.

There is yet another land agent

coming to look at the property today. 

I am growing increasingly disturbed at the way the company responsible for the execution of the Senior Cat's will is handling all this. Whatever their "processes" need to be this is bordering on the ridiculous.

Part of the problem is undoubtedly that they use a business of some sort in another state to advise them who to engage to sell the property. Oh yes, they assure me that this is done in the best interests of the estate. The problems however are obvious. Interstate companies do not know local areas.

I was supposed to be contacted earlier in the week. I was "advised" to make myself available. Wanting to get things moving I made myself available. There was no contact made by the agents who were supposed to be contacting me. It delayed other things I needed to get on with but I gritted my teeth and kept my claws retracted. 

At the end of the business day I advised the contact at the executor company that no contact had been made. I suggested they go with one or the other of those who had made contact. No, that would not do. They need at least one more "appraisal". They would advise someone else to come and "advised" me to be "available". I went to do some shopping for Middle Cat who is home but unable to leave the house. The agent called me and was at least reasonable enough to suggest the following day. It matters not to such people that this is the weekend. I agreed.

But why? The house has now been "appraised" seven times - this will be the eighth - and "valued" twice. I am under pressure to keep the place ultra-clean and ultra-tidy. Our land agent of choice (the one Middle Cat knows well) has of course seen the house in a state of chaos. It did not bother him. It is what he expected to see when packing was taking place.

On top of all that a friend dropped off some new cleaning materials which she had to remove from a house belonging to an aunt who has gone into a nursing home. There were bags of these - seven garbage bags in all. S... went off on holiday for the next eight weeks leaving a note to say, "Can you pass them on to that church...?" I knew what she meant but I could not rely on Middle Cat to drop them off this time so I sent frantic messages to the lovely person in the office there. An hour later I had a call from D..., the priest. He would come and collect it all for me. 

He arrived and stacked it all in the boot of his car. He told me how pleased everyone was that I was staying in the district. It made me feel a bit better. Now if my BIL and N...have worked out how to get the two big armchairs I don't use to the charity N... works for...  I am taking a deep breath and hoping the executor company will just get on with the job as well. 

We have just taken a step backwards

or perhaps it is a leap?

The ban on under 16s using social media passed the Senate of federal parliament last night. The arguments for the ban were along the lines of "this is what all parents want", "this is how we stop bullying" and "this is how we improve the mental health of adolescents" and much more.

It is not "what all parents want" by any means. Some parents will welcome it - and rightly so. A small minority may not care and will possibly allow their children to access it under their own names. (Interesting question is who will then be responsible if their little darlings are caught.) 

It will not stop bullying. It may be less difficult to broadcast it but bullying will continue - and may become more physically violent or theft related. 

It will probably not improve the mental health of adolescents. The research to date suggests there is a very weak link, if any, between mental health and the use of social media. We will have to wait and see if there is any change in research outcomes but that sort of research is fraught with difficulties.

The other issues which arise such as "age verification" are not matters for social media organisations to become involved in. The responsibility for this has to come from parents in the first instance - and they are the people who should be fined if they knowingly allow their under sixteen to use banned social media. Schools can play a part in this but the primary responsibility has to lie with parents. 

And then there are the teens who will tech-savvy enough to get around the bans. Can the government really believe they can ban every citizen of this country from using a VPN in order to try an implement this ban? That raises all sorts of security issues. Can you really prevent them from doing it anywhere in the world?

There is also a real social and safety issue here - communication between families and friends, migrants and refugees will be hindered by this ban. Children may never get to know grandparents and other relatives who live elsewhere. It was that way once - at most a three minute call on one day of the year. Do we want that to happen now when people are moving around more and more? How does a child communicate with a parent abroad for work? Do they go back to a supervised phone call on an old fashioned phone? Will it be easier for warring divorced parents to deny their children access to their absent parent?

Those things are just a start. Yes, of course social media can harm. It has been one contributing factor to the suicide of some young people and that is something no family should go through. especially loving parents. All that said though this is not something that has actually been thoroughly investigated and worked out. It won't work in its current form and there is a need to start again.

 

"Guilloutining" a Bill in the Senate

suggests that there is more than some disquiet about it.

Today is the last sitting day of our Federal parliament for this year and they have at least twenty items to push through and vote on. Some will be relatively uncontroversial. They will pass without difficulty. Others require support from people who may be wavering or who need "sweeteners" for their own purposes.

Then there are the bills which are controversial but have enough support to get through but where debate is being deliberately curtailed. One of those bills is the one relating to banning under-16s from social media. 

There was a brief window of opportunity to comment on this Bill at the committee stage. By brief I mean a week. There was very little notice given and almost nobody had a chance to appear in front of the committee - not even the "big tech" people most affected by the implementation of this. 

In addition to this some sections of the media, those in no way affected by the ban, have come out so strongly in support of the legislation. This is so much so we are being led to believe there is almost no opposition to it. 

The reality is different. There is disquiet - perhaps it is fair to say extreme disquiet - among people I know. It is seen as a step towards monitoring everyone and monitoring them all the time.  It raises questions about privacy (and the use of VPNs), about free speech, about healthy debate, about political power and influence...and much more. The failure to allow time, a lot of time, for extensive information collecting and a proper debate in the Senate suggests there are more problems in the legislation than have already been raised.

Yesterday I was asked if the government actually has the power to pass the legislation under the powers granted in the Constitution. My answer to that was, "I am not sure but it is possible that, at least in its present form, it does not." Yes, it is possible that this legislation goes too far. It is too intrusive. It is in contradiction to some international obligations to which we are signatories and more. The government obviously feels the claimed intent of the Bill protects them from being subject to these obligations but I doubt this is actually the case. 

It appears this Bill is being rushed through for political purposes and not in the best interests of those it claims to protect. Attempts to administer it are likely to result in challenges in the High Court. This may make the legal profession happy - but I doubt anyone else will be. 

Coming out of hospital

is something I fear Middle Cat should not have done. My BIL collected her yesterday but one look at her suggested she would have been better off staying there.

Yes, they were prepared to keep her there or let her go home. It was her choice and I can understand her wish to be home after four weeks but she has to be able to look after herself at least somewhat. I need to be here because of issues to deal with the sale of the house. Yes, she can call me and I can head off in the current rainy and slightly stormy conditions but only after rearranging other things and delaying matters even more. 

At this hour I imagine she is still in bed and likely to be there for some time. There will no doubt be at least one of her two cats keeping her company. That's something I suppose. Still, it is disturbing. 

My very good friend S... was here when my BIL came to finish one small job on their way home. Middle Cat did not have the energy to do more than walk inside (out of the heat) and sit on a chair to wait. I will be forever grateful to S... for the amount of help she has given me in the past few weeks. My thoughts are now turning towards what I can make for her. She loves snuggly scarves and cowls and I have something in mind for the yarn, a mohair and silk mix, but I want the design to be special. It is giving me considerable pleasure to think about it in between all the problems yet to be faced. Yes, I will get to work on it with equal pleasure in the making.

The executor company is continuing to make problems. While the price we get for the house may be higher the "valuation" of this property has come in far lower than it should have. Realistically it is nothing more than the land value. They are arguing the market value will be higher but, realistically, the valuation does affect the price. It suggests again that they are acting in their interests rather than ours but in such a way that we will have no means of challenging it. I just want all of this to be over now.  

Buying insurance

on any property seems to be fraught with difficulties.

This house is insured. It was a task I left to Middle Cat because she was doing their own property at the same time. She discussed it with me of course but the final clicks were left to her after much searching for the most reasonable deal.

Notice I did not say the "best" deal. No, that would be even more complicated. We wanted something that would work if we needed it because we had the legal responsibility to the estate.

Now I have a responsibility to ensure my own abode, or what will shortly be my own abode, is covered.  It was hard work and I am still not sure I have done all that needs to be done.

There is communal insurance of course. This is a legal imperative for any block of dwellings on a strata title. I can do little about this, indeed nothing at all while I still only have a deposit on the property. My feeling is that the insurance is on the low side but perhaps not. It needs further investigation.

But I needed "contents" insurance even if it is for nothing more than everyday items. So, the search began. I looked at website after website. I made some phone calls. Not everyone was prepared to offer insurance because it is not a "detached" dwelling. Those that were had more questions for me than I had for them. 

My age? Where was I living now? Why was I leaving? Why am I moving to that address? How much is the property worth? Do I own anything of value? Is anything worth more than....? Who else will be living there? Have I ever claimed anything on insurance before? Have I ever been convicted of a criminal offence? What is my income? Do I conduct a business from the premises? Will I have visitors? Do I smoke...take illicit drugs...drink alcohol? Will I be living there? Will it be unoccupied at any time? Why had there been no property insurance in my name for the last.....years?

I found the questions obtrusive and largely unnecessary. Many of the "representatives" tried to sell me very expensive and unnecessary cover.  Eventually I found something I could afford, enough to satisfy the conveyancer and estate agent and at least some of what I wanted. Adding anything at all to that and the price starts to almost triple and it is just so hedged around with "conditions" I wonder what value I am getting - if I am getting any at all. 

The "Misinformation" Bill

is, rightly, not going ahead.

It would never have worked - unless the government could also control the internet and the news media. Yes, it was an attempt to censor information.

I could say the same thing about the proposed ban on social media for under sixteens. It won't work unless everyone has a digital ID. The government has actually admitted this. 

For all they are trying to suggest they are doing it in the best interests of children and young people the reality is that those supporting it also see it as a way of controlling what goes on. If everyone has a digital ID then we can be tracked even more than we are already tracked. I know this blog is "monitored". If I use certain words then it is quite possible someone, somewhere will read the post. I expect that. It is the way of the world now.

There seems to be a belief that bringing in the social media ban will somehow reduce the level of "bullying" that occurs, or is said to occur. If the media is reporting this correctly then bullying has become a major problem in schools...or has it?

Much has been made of the way social media is being used to bully and harass young people. Yes, it is a problem. It is certainly easier to bully at a distance than it is face-to-face and the death of even one child or young person as a result of such bullying is one death too much. At the same time is the situation really as it is portrayed in the media and, if so, why?

Is the widespread policy of "say you are sorry and make friends" really working? It starts down in the day care centres, the pre-school centres and the kindergartens. If it really worked then it would work there and the attitude would surely carry through to older children.

It does not work of course. Human beings are not like that. We vary too much for that. We all have different levels of tolerance. We have many and varied interests and likes and dislikes. Most people manage to mask their dislike or impatience or some other negative emotion without showing other people what they are thinking. It is a learned behaviour. We are, or should be, taught this. There are things you don't do in a civilised society.

It is not the whole answer to the problem of bullying but I suspect that the apparent increase in the bullying problem may also be related to the failure to discipline from earliest childhood. This is about more than "good manners". It is about how we behave at all times in the presence of others...and perhaps even in private.

Is it time to rethink how we teach children to live together rather than expect them to be "friends" with everyone? Do we need to teach tolerance of differences without expecting children to "like" others they would not tolerate as adults?

Children get thrown together in groups. Adults can pick and choose their friends much more readily than children can. We need to recognise that and understand not everyone wants to be "friends" with everyone else.  

Sending Netanyahu off to the ICC

may sound like a good thing to many people but is it really?

 I have lost what little faith I ever had in the International Criminal Court. I was never sure it was a really good idea. The principle sounds fine but trying to implement it is something entirely different. Yes it took on someone like Milosevic but how much good did it really do? It isn't going to take on Putin or Kim or Hun Sen or Maduro...all of them at least equally deserving of a trip to the Hague.

The ICC is really a toothless tiger I suppose.

When we get news out of Gaza we need to remember that the news sources there are controlled by Hamas. Hamas wants everyone to believe the worst possible scenario. It is in their interests for this to happen. They want us to believe that the casualty numbers are enormous and that Israeli actions alone are responsible for this. They want us to believe it is Israel which is refusing to accept ceasefire arrangements. They want us to believe it Israel's fault that rockets land on buildings filled with women and children. Hamas also wants us to believe that Israel alone is responsible for the dire situation with regard to food and water and medication...and just about everything else.  

The reality of course is rather different. Hamas does not want peace. Its stated goal is the elimination of the state of Israel. The endless "ceasefire " negotiations fail not so much because of Israel's actions but because Hamas cannot afford to have a ceasefire. They cannot afford to be seen to give in at all. Their leaders simply do not care how many women and children lose their lives because of hunger and disease. They deliberately prevent people from moving away from danger zones even when the Israelis have delivered warnings. Exaggeration is another weapon of war for them, gross exaggeration.

Getting aid into the territory is difficult and UNRWA is not a cosy and lily white aid organisation which has the best interests of the people of Gaza at heart.  It is much more complex than that. It would be simplistic to say Hamas controls UNRWA but its influence is very, very strong. 

So, how culpable is Netanyahu? How culpable is Gallant? Perhaps an appearance at the Hague would answer that but I rather doubt it.  It will be too one-sided.  If we look at the countries which do not belong to the ICC we can see why. Countries like Russia and Iran may have signed the treaty but they have not ratified it - and they won't. It would open them up to too much prosecution. Countries like Pakistan and Turkey have not even signed the treaty. To do so would open up the possibility of prosecution of their leaders.

Putting out arrest warrants for two Israelis is easy enough to do but it will not achieve anything of value.  

A Jewish friend

of mine was refused service yesterday,

She has been shopping in the same little "organic" grocery for many years. It carries some things she finds hard to get anywhere else. She considered herself to be a good customer who always paid cash and took an interest in the owner's grandchildren. She had even helped by giving free tutoring to one of the children when an exam was coming up.

Yesterday she was told "please don't come again". The problem? Someone else had told the owner this was woman was Jewish. It was something the owner already knew but now there are threats from the owner's community.  The threats have been visible, a little graffiti. It is enough to make the owner stop. He's frightened.

I am appalled. My friend Y.... was very, very upset.

"What have I done to hurt them? I live here. I have never been to Israel. I do not like or support the war," she told me through tears. "I thought S.... (the owner) was a friend."

I thought he might have been too but apparently the threats have been too much. It is likely young men who are behind the threats but, before anything could be done, they would have to be caught in the act.

My indigenous friend M... knows about discrimination. His skin colour marks him out immediately. At times he has been refused service.  I have a friend who uses a wheelchair. She has faced discrimination too - perhaps because her disability is visible.  It does not matter that she is a high ranking member of the legal profession.

But Y... is much more vulnerable right now. It seems she is being held responsible for decisions made in another country, a country she has never visited and is not likely to visit. That is wrong, very wrong.

The war in the Middle East is causing war here too. People have to learn to live together. 

Home deposit?

Today I hope to pay the deposit on the new "sleeping mat" - in other words my new dwelling.

My lovely financial adviser came to see me yesterday and we juggled and juggled and have finally worked out the best way to do this. It still frightens me but he managed to bring my stress level down considerably. 

Perhaps it helps when he knows me well enough to make his own coffee? (Strong instant coffee - "the good stuff is wasted on me".) 

Then my wonderful friend S... called me and said, "It is going to be much too hot for you to pedal all that distance Cat. I am taking you and there will be no arguments." I gave in because the forecast is for 36' and P... will be here giving some things a final scrub.

The new carpet went in yesterday too. It almost makes me wish I could stay here. The rooms look bare. I keep imagining how I could fill them, how I could arrange the books and more. 

I am still feeling anxious...I don't like this major upheaval to my life...but I know I am fortunate. I will still be in the community I know. I went very briefly into the library yesterday and one of the staff said, "You know we are all pleased. Nobody here wanted to see you go." That was so nice. It makes me feel as if I can purr...just a little bit. 

Parents have to be held more responsible

for the alleged social media issues among children and teens. Schools need to be held more responsible too. 

There have been a great many people in and out of this house recently. Many of them are people I know but I do not know all of them well. Others have been strangers. All of them have said something about the proposed legislation to ban the young from social media. Only one thought "it might work". None of them believed that the "tech giants" should be responsible for implementing the ban.

I have listened rather than talked. I do not have children. I have only ever been responsible for one in the long term. The rest of my child caring experiences have been short term baby sitting experiences. Perhaps I should not be commenting at all but I found a list of papers looking for links between mental health/behavioural issues and the media interesting. It seems that, if there is a link, then the link is weak.

If that is so then what is causing the apparent increase in socially unacceptable and/or anxiety behaviours among young people? I asked that question of more than twenty people and the answers were all similar. Two things kept coming up over and over again. One was the failure of parents to have high expectations in relation to standards of behaviour. The other was what was being taught in schools. 

Yes, it is the responsibility of parents, and also schools, to teach what is acceptable behaviour. It is not the responsibility of schools alone. Parenting, it was generally agreed is hard work and it takes time. The willingness to put the time in is often hindered by the fact that it is now expected both parents will go to work - and that parenting is not considered to be work. What schools teach is sometimes at odds with what parents believe is right too and that adds to the problems.

Then there is what is being taught in schools. Instead of the "basic three R's" the people I have been listening to complained about the emphasis on issues like "climate change", gender issues, race issues and trying to instil a feeling of guilt into the young for the wrongs of the past. There was concern expressed about the culture of "victimhood" and the failure to get others to take full responsibility for their behaviours. 

More research is needed, much more research. It may be that those who are tempted to see the proposed social media ban as a solution will need to adjust their thinking. They may need to accept that they too have to take some responsibility for what their children do. 

 

I cannot find anything!

 At least it seems as if I cannot find anything. This is not just a serious source of frustrating but time consuming and...dangerous.

My BIL is still trying to insist that the house needs to be empty of absolutely everything even before the potential agents have a look. All of us have tried to explain that this is not the way things are done. We have even tried showing him photographs of how houses are sold now but he will not be convinced.

"No, come on. It has to be empty. We can't have any stuff lying around at all," he tells us.

Of course I am still here. Oh. "Well the bare minimum Cat needs," he tells us.

His idea of the "bare minimum" and mine are quite different. While he goes to work looking clean and tidy when he comes here to do something he is happy to wear the same dirty clothes for a week or more...and they are dirty, even absolutely filthy. I just cannot do that.

We have argued over the need to iron clothes. According to him "nobody irons stuff". Excuse me? Does he think the shirts he wears to the office do not get ironed? He thinks they are drip dry in the way his school shirts were drip dry...and I suspect his mother still ironed those. His business shirts are better quality than that now and they need ironing. P...who does the cleaning does it if Middle Cat cannot and, at the moment, Middle Cat is still in hospital.

But then it comes to the serious stuff. I could not find the nail scissors and I do need to keep them short - especially right now. More serious still are they perhaps with my medication. My BP is high enough with all the stress so not having access to that could be disastrous. I finally find these things "out in the shed where you will have to sort all the stuff I dumped". Sigh...but at least I have found it.

Then my personal file disappeared and it was panic stations again. The information in that is absolutely vital...I found it "put away safely".

I cannot find the household phone book - for the numbers we need but not often. It means I have not been able to contact some people I need to talk to about this or that...and BIL gets annoyed because I have not done. "You should have all those things in your phone Cat!" 

No, I don't work like that. The bank has just sent me a new card. I have to go into the bank to activate because I cannot and will not clutter up my simple phone with something called an "app". I won't need it after the card is activated. That sort of thing is clutter to me but my BIL says they are "essential". 

I think we are coming from two entirely different directions...so why in the heck do I feel so fond of my BIL? He really does mean well and he has done an awful lot of work here. It is just that I cannot find things.