There are times when it is right to smack a child

before that horrifies you let me explain. Apparently about two thirds of adults in this country think it is reasonable to smack a child with a wooden spoon. An even higher percentage, ninety-two percent, seem to think it is reasonable to hold a child tightly by the wrist. This is apparently the finding in some research done by a university in this country. There were some other findings as well. I will not bother to list them as I have not read the paper itself.

What I will say here is that yes, it is perfectly reasonable to smack a child in circumstances where not to do so would potentially lead to greater harm.  Imagine the scenario where you are all at breakfast. Someone has put another slice of bread in the toaster. The bread gets stuck for some reason. It starts to burn and, in order to release it, someone sticks a knife into the while it is still turned on and plugged into the outlet. Dangerous? Possibly fatal? Yes, almost certainly. 

If the person with the knife is a young child with no concept at all of the danger do you try and "reason" with them or do you swoop and give their hand a sharp slap away from the danger? I know I would swoop and slap. I just hope I could do it quickly enough. There would be no time to try and reason with the child, no time to explain. The idea that you could be prosecuted for "smacking" a child in those circumstances is surely outrageous?

I would say it is equally true of a sharp slap on the leg of a child who started to run out into traffic. There is surely no time to reason in those circumstances. I just hope I would grab in time. The day put a very young child in my tricycle basket I know I was almost certainly holding on firmly enough to hurt but it was for the child's safety. He had wandered off from his mother and was about to cross a road. 

There will be people who disagree with me. There will be people who read this and think, "Cat's wrong about that. What an awful person." I can handle that because I know very young children do not have the language needed for reasoning with them. Without the vocabulary and the experiences they cannot comprehend the danger. It takes years to develop the necessary concepts.

The idea we can always "reason" with a child no matter how young they are and that it is always wrong to "smack" is something with which I cannot agree. Even adults can do the stupid dangerous thing with a toaster and many often take risks crossing the road but responsible adults do not do those things. They do not allow children to do it. There are simply occasions when safety has to come first.  

Something called "Rocketreach"

appeared in my email this morning. 

I had never heard of it but I am alarmed by it. Apparently I was put on their "database" - without my consent. I researched and hope I have now been removed from it.

It seems that being on "Linked In" or "Facebook" or some other platform was sufficient for them to "harvest" the limited information about someone and use it without their consent. Whatever has happened to privacy?

There is a very strict policy among those I work with that their photographs never appear on the internet. There is a very good reason for this. It is a security issue. We also try to keep as much as possible off any public sites. This is also a security issue. I am intensely conscious if we let identifying information appear it might be the time that someone with a grudge will harm someone who has gone to help. Yes, it can happen. Not everyone has good intentions towards those going in to help. Recently, someone I was briefly acquainted with was shot. When people are risking their own lives then everyone else involved has a responsibility to do everything we can to keep them safe. 

So, I have done something about my "data" being "harvested". I do not know how long the material was available but they tell me it is no longer publicly available. Do I believe them? I have to hope that what they are saying is actually correct but I am still left with doubts. 

I have a presence on "social" media. A little of it is "social". I like to think what I do there is simply make contact with friends and, less often, acquaintances. I also have a presence on some other sites which are, supposedly, not accessible to anyone not involved. Would they be easy to "hack"? Some would, some would not. The only reason anyone would wish to do so however would be because they could potentially do harm. 

It is the potential to do harm which concerns me most. Give someone a hand held weapon and ask him to commit murder with it and very few people could do it. Ask that same person to push a button to cause harm in some faraway place and they are much more likely to do it. Distance matters in such situations. Data harvesting works in just the same way. It is also wrong.

 

There were children at the 90th birthday party

and they were all very well behaved.

I did not know them at all. They are the great-grandchildren and, until then, I had only come across grandchildren. 

I have since written a letter to one of the great-grandchildren. She is the one who is currently being home-schooled for medical reasons. She is also the one who loves to read and is reading well above her age group.

I had thought no more about the other, slightly younger, child. At the party I was told he was learning Auslan at school. His entire school is learning Auslan as their "other" language. When he came up to his great-aunt to ask something she told him that I knew some Auslan too. I signed a simple greeting to him and he looked surprised, very surprised. There was definitely more than a little disbelief there. With a nudge from his great-aunt he responded by showing me how he can sign the alphabet but the conversation did not get much further. What child wants to talk to a strange adult in a language he still knows very little about?

What I found of real interest however was something else. His great-grandmother was here for lunch as she usually is on that day each month. This time she said to me, "O... told his mother and then his grandmother about you and how you signed something to him. He thought it was very interesting you could do it."

"Interesting?" I have been thinking about that. I would find it very interesting to know why he was thinking like that. Does he believe that no hearing adult can sign - apart from his teacher? Is the idea of signing rather than speaking so different he does not see it as an actual language? 

I have known any number of non-disabled children who can sign or use an alternate or augmentative form of communication. They have done this because they have relatives or friends who use something. This child has no relatives or friends who use sign language and has quite possibly not seen it used outside the classroom or, at very least, the school. So, what was he thinking? Has he suddenly realised that signing really is a language and he can learn to use it?   

Sorting through the belongings of a deceased person

is not something I would do by choice. I have done it for my parents and helped to do it with my grandparents. Unexpected things have been found of course. 

I was always grateful my mother only had three days of "compassionate" leave when her mother died. I think it is fair to say there was only relief there. It was my great-aunt, her sister-in-law, who removed the most personal things from the house. Mum wanted nothing at all. 

"Not even her wedding rings?" my great-aunt inquired. Mum's response was "Throw them out. I don't want a thing."

My parents had no choice but to move into the house my grandmother had inherited from her husband but I know Mum loathed the place. It must have had some truly dreadful memories for her. When my parents finally managed to move into their own home Mum put her mark on it. The Senior Cat left it entirely up to her. I know there were things he would have changed but he wanted her to have her own space for the first time in her life.

I have thought of all that frequently in the last few weeks. For months I have been surrounded by boxes of goods belonging to someone else. I was not even really aware of what was in them. They were left with me when K... moved interstate with her husband. They were moving to be closer, much closer, to their daughter. K... was ill and had been told she had, at most, a year to live. The intention had always been to move back. The business she ran from home was closed. The stock had been run down over more than two years.

Her husband appeared at my door with box loads of what was left. He thought I already knew what was intended. I knew nothing. If I had been asked I would have said I could not do it, that I had no way of doing it.

I called K...to ask what she was doing. 

"Cat... I am giving you what is left. Sell what you can and use the funds for the children." She gave me no choice.

It has been sitting there for months. I went away and came back. S... was not well enough to help. More than one thing got in the way. S..., bless her, came and we made a start. It has been a lot of work. I spent most of yesterday working on sorting out a messy box of bits and pieces. Most of that cannot be sold on line. It can go to the local charity shop. People often go in for things like buttons. I think K... would approve of that.  

The funds are building up. Those most in need will be able to continue their education. Her husband left me a message late on Friday to say that "K...has left me - just went to sleep and didn't wake up." We both think K... would be happy. I don't mind the work involved. It just feels odd to do it.  

Someone still has to pay for it

if you shift a charge from one point to another. This is not taking a charge away. 

Our Prime Minister proudly announced that "your coffee" was going to be cheaper. He told us that prices would go down, that the price which was advertised was the price we would pay. 

There was more of the same. It sounded good. It is not true. Someone, somewhere had to absorb the cost of the card use fees and it was not going to be the person selling the goods but the customer. Of course it was going to be the customer.

The migrant couple who run the delightful little coffee place in our local shopping centre can only keep it going because their entire family is involved. They all work shifts. The young ones do it in addition to other work and the parents, who are both well over retiring age do the rest. It is hard work, very hard work. 

They did not want to raise their prices. They have a loyal customer base. They have people who see their little place as a sort of social service. It does not mean they can absorb the increased cost to them of the fees being charged. 

Their prices will rise by the bare minimum. Elsewhere in the shopping centre prices have also gone up. Adding fifty cents to the price of a coffee seems a lot but the way the change was implemented means that the price of everything else has also gone up as well. The grocery bill is going to be higher and so is everything else. 

Someone did not think about this. They did not think about the implications. If they did then they either did not care or they must believe it will be extra income for the government through the GST. I doubt the government cares very much at present. There will be reduced revenue for them in the future but they will put it down to other things.

And nobody has considered that anyone who pays cash is also going to be paying more for their coffee...and everything else. The card surcharge is going to affect everyone. No, you won't be paying less however you pay - you will be paying more.  

 

 

   

Performance cues and underscores

of the musical kind are part of a magician's repertoire. The music is as much a part of the entertainment as the illusion. Even in the earliest times a performer would have someone using music to help distract the audience at essential moments. 

The Senior Cat was very aware of the importance of music in the magician's repertoire. He was also aware of how difficult some magicians find it to build that sort of backing material for their performances. It was with that in mind he talked to someone who had an interest in theatre organs. He was then put in touch with someone else who performed regularly on both the organ in that theatre and on radio. 

Would this person be interested in developing some "music for magicians"? Could they work together on this? It was how the Senior Cat came to know someone else who died recently. 

The Senior Cat liked music but he was not musical. Does that make sense? He could, with difficulty, read the treble line and blow into a recorder. Mum would cover her ears. She was musical. Dad could not sing in tune. (I cannot sing in tune either but I know I cannot and there is a good reason for my not being able to do it.) At school dances Mum would warn the wife of the chairman of the School Committee (the chairman was always male back then) that the Senior Cat had "two left feet". Yes, he was that bad. It was a rather rotten family joke.

So how on earth did he manage to work with anyone on this? I came home on more than one occasion and there would be music issuing from the piano and "that car" would be parked outside. I knew B... was there and the two of them would be working on something. I would hear them discussing it. I would hear something be played faster or slower or with "more twiddly bits". I would hear it played up an octave or in a different key. 

"Got it!" "Yes that's it!" "What about this?" "How about we try this sort of..." and so it would go on. 

I would hear the Senior Cat saying, "Right...the patter goes like this and this is what I am doing....can you speed it up just a little...you're right that's even better..."

They worked well together. B... would give me a nod as I came in but he would not stop working until it was time to put the kettle on. I would make tea and leave them still talking. B...would take what he had recorded there away with him and make another recording in a studio somewhere. The result would be a tape for the Senior Cat and his fellow magicians to use.

It would all be done very differently now. Modern technology would make it much easier to use music from a wide variety of sources. It would not simply be a piano or theatre organ backing. There would be no tapes, not even a CD. 

I also suspect there would be many breaches of copyright. B... and the Senior Cat had permission for everything they used...and they worked for it.   

Do you remember when we had "department"

stores? You know the sort of thing I mean, one of those big shops which seemed to sell almost "everything". They were the sort of places where you could buy "bargains" in the basement and school uniforms on the third floor which you went to by passing the cosmetics and handbags on the first floor and the underwear and whatever on the second floor.

Our CBD had an entire street of them in the centre of the city itself. Women, dressed in a "good" dress, stockings, hat and gloves would spend "a day in town" and visit several at a time. It was where you bought what ready made clothing there was. It was where men who could not afford a tailor would go for their "Sundays and funerals" clothes. 

My maternal grandmother was among the first to get a "card" for one of the biggest of them. It was not a credit card as such but an "account" card. She would make purchases on it, often small purchases in the "habby" (haberdashery) area. She would have a fitting for her "corset" in the area which sold bras - always fitted bras - and other nightwear. Her Christmas shopping, such as it was, would be done there or in one of the neighbouring stores. At Christmas itself the footpaths would be crowded. Santa Claus was to be found in a "Magic Cave" - and elsewhere. Cars and buses could barely move along. It was our version of Oxford Street.

Then someone had the bright idea of turning the street into a pedestrian mall. Cars and buses were removed. The street was levelled and paved. Art work was put in.

And people went away. They went off to the "shopping centres" which were being built in the suburbs. The big stores tried to follow people there but they had to compete against the "chain" stores imported from America and Asia. 

Our CBD is dying. Whether it can be revived is anyone's guess. The mall might have seemed like a good thing but habits have changed. A very elderly friend who was here yesterday went into the city recently. She was wearing jeans and a casual jacket. She had no hat, indeed does not own one. She was wearing gloves but only because it was a cold day and she has issues with circulation.  We commented on how things had changed. She asked me when had I last been in to "the Mall". The answer was about three years before the Senior Cat died. I had to get him a pair of trousers and, after looking on line, I found a pair in one of those "department" stores...but it was no longer that sort of department store. It was one of many small stores within a big building. 

My previous visit had been many years before that and I felt lost. It was not a friendly place. It would have been so much easier to go to the place where he had bought all such things after his father was no longer working. They kept a record of every customer and their measurements. If you went in they would update the record. Their fabric and workmanship lasted for years. I had contacted them but it had all gone and that was their suggested alternative. Yes, good trousers but not as good as theirs.

It all seems to be like that. I know things change. I am not sure I would like it if things did not change from time to time but there are things I wish were still there. I have a voucher to spend in a little store in an arcade off that mall.  I am told it is a very nice place to visit. Yes, it probably is but I am not sure when I am going to get there...or even if I want to do it. Shopping is not the same now.