Should we let kids fail?

There was an article over on the Guardian website about letting kids fail. I couldn't help myself. I had to comment.
I had to comment because people were burbling and buzzing along about "different these days" and "safety" and...well, you know what I mean.
I made a comment about the two boys around the corner. I have talked about them elsewhere. They are the two who have been brought up with what is best described as 50's style freedom. They  have survived and they are growing up into really good citizens. I like them. 
They tried all sorts of things and they failed - and they tried again.  The Whirlwind has tried things and failed - and tried again. (She has lost her temper with herself in much the same way as I did but she goes back to try again.)
My nephews and niece tried all sorts of things and failed - and tried again. 
One of my nephews and my niece have children of their own. My nephew's children are being brought up in today's more "protective" lifestyle. I suspect his wife was brought up rather like that. Their two children are constantly supervised. They seek adult attention and help. They already "know" that certain adult supervised activities are not negotiable and that their lives will be organised by adults.
My niece, my nephew's sister, has a quite different approach. Her children (younger) dress themselves without difficulty and the oldest (four) can tie her own shoelaces. They are expected to help around the house and they "help" to grow things in the garden - and they are expected to eat the broccoli and carrots and other things the garden produces.
They play, largely unsupervised, in the back garden. There has been a broken arm - falling off something - and a gashed head - running into something. They have been dealt with as "part of growing up".
And my niece worries about how she is going to continue to allow them to do all the things she believes they should be able to do. How long will it be before they are expected to go on "supervised play dates"? Already if a friend comes to play my niece knows that the expectation is the friend will be constantly watched.
"It's all about safety" and "You just can't let kids do the sort of thing we did" and "You can't let kids fail now. It's bad for their self-esteem."
I remember the Senior Cat failing a child one year. He did it after a lot of thought and discussion with the child's teacher and the child's parents. The child was very immature. He was, despite the best efforts of a good teacher, just not ready. 
The child was devastated. He wasn't going up with his friends. The following year he didn't even want to come to school so his teacher, the one who had tried to help, went to see him.
She told him, "You aren't going to fail if you try again. It's only people who don't try again who are failures."
He came back to school of course. He had to. His teacher kept reminding him quietly about succeeding if he tried again. 
I can remember this child because, as was the custom in the all age school, we older students had to hear the little ones read aloud from time to time. He would stand next to me and struggle with the squiggles on the page and then, one day, it seemed to make more sense because he read an entire page with almost no hesitation. He looked at me in a puzzled sort of way and then turned the page and went on to the next one.
At the end of it he burst into tears and told me, "I did it."
I hugged him - because you could do that sort of thing back then - and told him, "See, in the end you didn't fail." 
His teacher told him the same thing and gave him the "good reader" stamp on his hand.
He will have prize winning dairy cattle at this year's Royal Show but I wonder what would have happened if he hadn't been allowed to fail.

Father's Day?

I don't know where the "Father's Day" tradition came from but it is "celebrated" Downunder on the first Sunday in September. By "celebrated" I mean that commercial enterprise takes over and informs you that you should/must/will buy your father a (preferably expensive) present in order to tell him that you love him.
Needless to say it does not get celebrated in that way in this household. We just don't go in for that sort of thing. We don't need to. The Senior Cat gets told he is loved often and in all sorts of ways - like Brother Cat phoning him long distance for around an hour of chat each week and Middle Cat taking him to a medical appointment. 
I bought him a present yesterday.
"Going to give it to your father tomorrow?" the girl in the toy shop asked me. She looked doubtfully at me as if doubting my sanity.
"No, I'll give it to him when I get home," I told her. 
"IT" was a miniature pack of cards...about the size of a matchbox. 
"He does magic tricks," I told her, "I am sure he can find a way to use these."
I could see she was still doubtful but I prowled home and gave him the cards. He was, as I thought, pleased to get them and I could almost hear his mind ticking over as he plotted and planned to use them. 
"You don't celebrate Father's Day then Cat?" someone asked me later, "What about Mother's Day?"
We never celebrated that either. My parents acknowledged their mothers. My maternal grandmother expected gifts but my paternal grandmother was more than happy just to see us. They were very different people.
My mother told us she did not want the day acknowledged. As children we wanted to do it anyway. We wanted to do what was traditional back then - give our mother breakfast in bed. She was not one for lying in bed however so we never got as far as the "in bed" bit. We tried to prepare breakfast. The Senior Cat would offer to help (we accepted) but she preferred to have her kitchen to herself. Eventually we gave up.
And then one year we children knew there was a book she wanted to read. Our mother was not much of a reader really so even the mention of a book she wanted to read was unusual. We saved our pocket money, pooled it and the Senior Cat bought the book for us. We wrapped it and on the morning of Mother's Day we gave it to her. She looked at it and then looked at us.
"I suppose you meant well but you know we don't celebrate Mother's Day."
I don't know what our father said - if he said anything at all - but four very subdued children went off without a word. I can only suppose our mother meant well.  
It had been my idea to get the book and I felt so guilty about the pocket money the others had invested I eventually paid my sisters back. My brother, being older than them, took equal responsibility for the act. We never again tried to acknowledge Mother's Day. 
But Father's Day? We're taking the Senior Cat out for a cheap and cheerful lunch in the local shopping centre. 
"It will," Middle Cat informed me when making the arrangements, "save you from  having to get lunch."
The Senior Cat tells me he is "quite looking forward to it".

What do our MPs actually do?

Our local federal MP has announced he is retiring at the end of this term in parliament. He has come in for some criticism for that. "He's only 48!" "He's a rat deserting a sinking ship." "He's just served time to get a pension." "He's never done anything."
Some of the other comments about the story on another media website were far worse - the sort of libel I have come to expect from people who use the site as a place to hurl invective at the current government without any regard for the facts. 
I knew this man before he was an MP. I have known him for about twenty-two years. I will admit I was surprised when he was pre-selected for the seat because he is not a noisy, outspoken sort of person. He isn't the sort of person you think of as being an MP. He's actually a doctor as well though - and I think that may explain it. He listens and then acts.
He was never a minister but he worked hard behind the scenes. He was on the inevitable committees. He lobbied for funds for projects in the electorate. He dealt with problems brought to him and he often did it in a very personal way. He has been fiercely loyal to his electorate too.
That should count in this electorate because the state MP betrayed the electorate by effectively moving, without any consultation, to the Opposition. It added to the work load of the federal MP when people simply don't trust the state MP and won't go to him.
He has a young family and he has had to be away from them. Now that his son is heading towards his teenage years I have no doubt that they want to spend more time together. 
When he might have been watching his children play sport he was standing in shopping centres at "listening posts" - often being abused by those who do not like his side of politics and also being criticised for not doing the impossible. 
I know he has been putting in about seventy hours a week, sometimes more and rarely less. His wife says she knows what he looks like - but only just. It has been hard work for her as well.
And now he is planning a return to medicine. He will have some catching up to do after all this time - and he knows it. 
He will go on listening to people and trying to solve their problems.
And I wonder if the criticism of him is entirely fair. No, he wasn't a high profile, noisy MP who was always seeking publicity with a press release. He was never a holder of the highest offices in the land. 
But he did do what he was elected to do. He represented the people of his electorate and helped them where he  could. I wonder if all those high office holders can say the same thing?

 

"Why doesn't Saudi Arabia take refugees?"

Miss Whirlwind wanted to know yesterday. I had delivered some footwear for her to go exploring the creek banks and she took the opportunity to ask me a question her teachers don't really want to try and answer. 
One of them actually said to me, "Cat, if you can explain it then explain it to us as well. We're trying to make sure the girls understand the situation without upsetting them but still involving them."
I can't explain. I am not sure that anyone can. How can a country like Saudi Arabia not take in a single refugee?  They speak the same language. It's a different dialect but it is still the same language.  They are the same religion. There are denominational differences for some but it is the same religion. The customs may differ but they differ in the way that Downunder customs differ with those in much of Europe  - not so much that you can't fit in.
Saudi Arabia also employs well over a million domestic workers to keep the locals in their comfortable lifestyle. Yes, it's a rich country - a very rich country. 
There is also Bahrain - another wealthy country - where the situation is much the same. And there are some smaller states like Qatar and Kuwait which are also wealthy. 
They are all built on the same Islamic base and none of them take in a single refugee. They haven't signed the refugee convention. People don't try to go there. They know they won't be accepted. Why?
These states have been "helping" by funding the crisis. They are perhaps even at war with each other but they are doing it on neighbouring territory.
Almost nothing is said about the inaction of the Arab states and their Gulf Cooperation Council. They get almost no criticism. Refugee advocates almost never mention the lack of  help from that region. Write a letter to the paper and in all likelihood it will not get published. Why?
I looked at the Whirlwind. She wanted an answer. I asked her a question,
"What's under the ground in Saudi Arabia?"
I saw her work it out in an instant.
"You mean people want petrol for their cars?"
Yes, the oil.
Is that fair?  

His message was simple

"Please just stop the war. That's all we want."
He was, apparently, thirteen. He looked about eleven. He was travelling  "unaccompanied" out of Syria.
I don't know what his story is or why he was where he was without a responsible adult.
An "unaccompanied" child is one below the age of majority (i.e. adult) who does not have a responsible adult (parent, other relative or friend) to care for them. They often get lost  in times of crisis, particularly if they are old enough and "street-smart" enough to forage for food and shelter for themselves. 
They are not "I am David" like characters in the book by Anne Holm. They are not going to travel to Denmark with the help of other people and find their mother there. In all likelihood they no longer have fathers or mothers and may not have any family at all. They are some of the most at risk children in the world. 
If you listen to their stories and you have any compassion at all you will not sleep that night - or perhaps for nights to come. They break the law simply in order to survive - and not all of them survive. They get raped and beaten and enslaved by others. I won't go into details on a public blog  which anyone can read. This is war, the worst of war. It is something that almost never gets mentioned in the media. It's too harrowing.
And so, a thirteen year old boy asks people, to "just stop the war". It's a simple, simple request.
The answer seems impossible. While Europe is struggling to house and feed a mass migration of people due to war and poverty the question does have to be asked, "What's being done to prevent this?"
Assad is still in power. Even if he goes the problems won't be solved. IS is no weaker and still intent on maximum damage and a caliphate which extends far beyond their current area of occupation. What governments exist are often weak and corruption ridden. The economies have crumbled and there is no paid employment to be had. Neighbouring countries, some of which have problems of their own, don't want to know. 
I don't know what the answer is. If I did I would be rich. I would probably get the Nobel Prize.
If I did I could give it to people like the boy who wants the war stopped. I could see to it that he got an education to help rebuild his country.
Perhaps though it is time for Europe to say to all those would-be migrants, "Yes, we will help. We will help you get the skills you need to one day return to your country and rebuild it. We will shelter you  until it is safe to return."
Is that part of the answer? Can we tell that thirteen year old that much? 
 

"Going on a holiday?"

someone asked me. 
We were in the queue in the Post Office. These days the Post Office is a "shop". It sells all sorts of things -  books, toys, stationery, CDs, DVDs, boxes for packing things. It will do your passport photographs too.
But this was a display of "travel" items - passport holders, neck pillows and the like.
I shook my head. I had merely been reading the label on something that claimed to be a collapsible cup - an item somebody else had bought recently.
We now have two sets of neighbours away on holiday. The Little Drummer Boy's family went away several weeks ago. Now some of our neighbour's across the street will be away for six weeks. 
As their next door neighbour is an anaesthetist who works odd hours we will be responsible for making sure the place looks "lived in" - any stray papers will be removed. Any mail will be collected and so on. 
I know more people "away","going on holiday", and "planning a holiday" too. Many of them are older people who simply go off to the north of Downunder for winter. They take their caravans and join the caravan-train of grey nomads.
They don't have sheds and their gardens are non-productive "easy care". All I need to do is water a few pot plants and collect their mail  - those of them on my regular tricycle route that is.
But, a holiday? I am not sure what a holiday is any more. The last time I went away - some years ago now - I went with the Senior Cat and Middle Cat. We had a "long weekend" in the neighbouring state because Senior Cat and Middle Cat wanted to go to a gardening weekend.  I  haven't been away since.
People ask why. The answer is that the Senior Cat is not safe on his own. Have someone else stay with him people tell me. 
It sounds like a simple solution but it really wouldn't work. He would hate it. The Senior Cat is easy to live with but he's old. He is set in his ways. I accommodate that. I provide his meals at regular intervals. I know what he likes to eat. I know how he likes his tea made. I know all sorts of little things that matter. I can straighten his shirt collar and remind him he needs his hair cut. 
And, he worries. He worries every time I go out. He has always been a worrier. His mother, my beloved paternal grandmother who taught me so much, was a worrier. Perhaps there is an inherited genetic disposition for worry. The Senior Cat would be worried all the time I was absent.
I wouldn't enjoy myself knowing that. And yes, I would worry about him.
So when people ask if I am going on holiday the answer is "not yet". I hope they understand. 

So the Commissioner did not "recuse"

himself - that is remove himself as the Royal Commissioner presiding over the investigation into corruption within the union movement.
There were the expected howls of rage in the media and on social media sites like Twitter. Guardian readers were fuming - as was to be expected. Readers of the Australian were a little more circumspect. The unions who brought the action denounced the decision and said they would consider what to do next - most likely action in the Federal Court.
All that was to be expected. I downloaded Heydon's judgment and read it. I have not read it thoroughly as it runs to more than 200 pages but I did read his reasoning and conclusions. He said all the things I expected him to say.
Without reading it - he admitted to not having read it - the Shadow Attorney-General still wants him to go. There will, he tells us, be a motion in the Senate to get the Governor-General to remove Heydon "because the Prime Minister won't". 
It would have been wiser not to admit that you have not read something as important as this before taking action. It would also be wiser not to display such ignorance of the law.
Royal Commissioners have great powers. They cannot be removed by the politicians of the day. The Prime Minister cannot remove the Commissioner. Yes he could call the Commissioner in and ask him to go but he could not force him to go. The only person who could sack the Commissioner would be the Governor-General. He won't.  There is no reason to remove him.
The unions claim the Commission is a "politically motivated witch hunt". Perhaps that is true but, even it is true, the unions would be wise to let it run its full course. Unions represent less than 20% of the workforce. It was once much more than that. Despite that unions still effectively run the Labor Party agenda and they are likely to go on doing it. That's not going to change because it would involve too many people voting against their own interests. If the union movement, as it claims, has nothing to hide then surely the best thing is for it to show that before the Commission? That would do far more harm to their opponents than trying to close the Commission down. 
Trying to close the Commission down and making such a huge fuss about it suggests that there is something to hide  - something that has yet to come to light. It will be something far worse than skimming money off superannuation funds to fight political campaigns  - surely illegal? If there is something worse to be uncovered then the Commission needs to continue more than ever. Using more of the funds of members to try and bring down the Commission to cover up wrongdoing would be despicable.