Monday, 13 March 2017

I said "No" yesterday

and of course I am still wondering whether I should have said "Yes".
Now yesterday was Sunday. I often need to do some work on Sundays but I try at least to do a bit less, to take a bit of a break. After all I don't get paid for what I do so why should I work seven days a week?
Yes, I know. "It's urgent!" and "We really need some help..." and "Nobody else can do it..." and....  Some regular readers of this blog will be well aware of such demands.
Well, yesterday it wasn't urgent. It wasn't about saving someone's life. It was about knitting so I said "No." I said it nicely but I still said it. 
I am not popular. I am not "flavour of the month". And I still think the person can find the answer to her problem on the internet or by asking someone else. It was all too easy to think, "I'll ask Cat. It will be a nice little outing. I'll probably get a cup of tea and I can stay a couple of hours."
Well actually Cat has a cold and Cat isn't feeling that great and would prefer not to pass her germs on to anyone else. She is already worried she might have given them to the Senior Cat. Give me a break people. I would prefer to curl up on my sleeping mat and go back to sleep!
And I am also tired of people thinking that it is easier to "ask Cat" than it is to think for themselves. Of course there are people who, facing the same problem, I would happily have helped. Had the youngest member of the library group, now aged 11, asked for the same help I would have said, "Yes" and taken the appropriate precautions not to pass on my cold. After all, she is still learning to read a pattern and do all sorts of other things. Even more importantly she would have tried to do it herself before asking.
I am not very good at asking for help. As a kitten I was strongly discouraged from asking for help. If I couldn't do something myself then it didn't happen. I went without and sometimes I missed out altogether. Looking back I realise that was not good either. The questions I should have been taught to ask myself were, "Do you really need help? Can you do any of this yourself? How much help do you need?" and so on. After a lifetime of not asking for help I now get, "Don't be so ...... independent Cat!"
But I still believe that asking for help should be confined to times when you actually need it. That way you are more likely to get the help you need. 

1 comment:

Holly Doyne said...

""The questions I should have been taught to ask myself were, "Do you really need help? Can you do any of this yourself? How much help do you need?" and so on. """

as should all of us!