The importance of hugs

cannot be underestimated.
I discovered that all over again yesterday. 
I was sitting in the bookshop  with the knitting group. We were sitting near the window - nothing like displaying our knitting skills (or lack thereof) in public. 
A... must have passed by the window and came into the shop. A...lost her son last week. I am going to his funeral this morning. I just excused myself from the group and she came up to me and we hugged. 
There was no need to say anything for that first moment. Hugs, given at the right moment and in the right way, can say everything you need to say.
Then I said quietly, "I'll be there tomorrow."
"Please. I won't know you are there, but please."
No, she won't have any idea who will be there apart from her family. It will be one horrendous nightmarish blur.
I can imagine almost nothing as painful as losing a child suddenly. I don't have children of my own so even my imagining will lack the depth and the pain of the reality. 
A...'s family is close-knit, very close-knit. They are in constant contact with each other. They do things together. Now there will be that "hole", that vacant chair, the favourite coffee mug not used, and the Christmas present not bought or given. 
And A..., in her own grief, will have to give comfort to others - her husband, her other child, her grandchildren and more. She is still a mother with all those responsibilities - responsibilities she takes so seriously. 
I thought of this yesterday as I hugged her. That  hug seemed so damned inadequate. It was all I could give her.
It was the hug I received in return that was so important - the hug of friendship.