No, you may not call me that.

The bank called me yesterday. The person at the other end did introduce herself before asking whether they could speak to me. There were at least two things wrong with this.

There is a note on my file at the bank that I am NOT to be phoned unless there is an emergency - and then I will phone them back. This was not an emergency. It actually had nothing to do with my account - and everything to do with a further reduction in "customer service".

The second thing? This was the one that really infuriated me. The caller, a very young sounding female, addressed me by a diminutive of my given name, one by which I am not known even by friends. It is a diminutive more appropriate for a very small child. 

The caller did not know me, had never met me, had never spoken to me before. She knew nothing about me and she chose to be what can only be considered "extremely familiar". 

I know we have gone from the old "Mr/Mrs/Miss" titles to the use of given names. I tolerate that although I am old fashioned enough to believe it is not appropriate in all circumstances. 

I corrected the caller. I did it politely but through gritted teeth. I am not a two year old. I can be polite. She still used the same diminutive three times more in the same conversation. Perhaps I should not feel that way but I found it highly offensive. 

In this country people with certain positions don't always use the titles they would once have used. I call my doctor by her given name and she calls me by mine. There are people she calls by their title and surname and they call her "doctor". The difference is in the relationship between us. She has called on my services as well as me calling on hers. I call my dentist by her full given name - at her invitation - and she calls me by my full given name.

At our local library the staff wear name tags, the names they prefer to be known by. That is what I call them. They call me by my given name. (Yes, I know them all well enough for them to know me!) They never call me by a childish diminutive.

Recently I had to get a document witnessed by a Justice of the Peace. I had never met that JP. He called me by my professional title and surname. I called him Mr.... It was the right thing to do in a formal situation. His given name is apparently "David" but I would not have called him that and most definitely not "Dave" or "Davey".

In my early years at school I didn't even know the given names of my teachers. It was only in later years, and often only because the Senior Cat was the headmaster, that I knew their given names. I still addressed them as Mr/Mrs/Miss at school. Outside school hours I did, at their invitation, address some of them by their given names but only out of the hearing of other students.

At law school we had one staff member, a highly respected professor, who called all students by their title and surname. He did this in the lecture theatre. His attitude was "get used to it. This is what happens in court."  In my last year there I did, at his invitation, call him by his given name and he mine but he was no longer going to teach me. I was a "mature age" student who had been doing some tutoring by then.

But, all too often, people just use a given name without a thought as to whether it is appropriate. I don't want, as happened recently, to be addressed as "Doctor, Doctor Professor..." but I don't want to be called "Kitty" either.