Other people's marital relations

are none of my business unless they directly affect me. By that I mean if a friend wants me to child mind so she or he can deal with a marital issue then I need to be involved to the extent that the children are cared for if I can do it. Please, leave it at that.

I am not interested in the marital issues between a sports person and their partner. It is none of my business. It is none of the media's business. It may be the business of some "club" or other if it is affecting their financial affairs I suppose but it does not need to be splashed all over the paper for days on end. 

I have been skipping over the articles about some football/rugby/soccer player for days now. Much has been made of it. It has been much worse than usual. I suspect the "story" is being used to try and deflect interest in our Prime Minister's failure to act and the way his closest allies are trying to support him but also deflect criticism of their own failure to act.

"Cat won't know anything about it," one of my local acquaintances said as we were standing waiting for a train.

"No - and I do not want to know. It is their private affair and if the media would leave them alone then the pressure on them would be much less to begin with," I said.

No, apparently I am wrong. These are "public figures". They are fair game when it comes to what should, in my opinion, be their private lives. All I can do is disagree.

Years ago now I was in a lift in a building which houses a lot of people who are usually considered to be "VIPs". Some of them are very important people indeed. I was, unusually for the lifts in that building, on my own. Someone else got in on the next floor and he was a very, very VIP. He gave me a long suffering look as if to say, "Now I suppose I have to make polite conversation to another complete stranger who will be all over me because of my position."

I took a risk, partly because I was feeling very nervous about who I was going to meet and what I was going to ask them to do. I said, "It's all right. I don't know who you are."  

My assessment of his character was right. He laughed and. in a genuinely interested way, asked what I was doing there. I explained briefly. He nodded and, as we exited the same floor, he made sure that the other VIP's secretary was there to meet me and escort me where I needed to go. 

Some years later I saw this same man on the other side of the room at another event. I did not expect to even be acknowledged. He would not remember me...except he did. He excused himself from talking to some other important people and came over to me for just a moment. He greeted me in a warm and friendly manner. He remembered what I had been there for at the previous encounter and asked how I felt about the outcome. 

I was aware of several people around me wondering what it was all about. They wanted to know of course but I just said, "We happened to meet one day. That's all." 

Those around me did not need to know any more than that.  One of my colleagues at the time looked at me and said to the rest of the group. "Leave it. Cat's right. We don't need to know."

There is a lot we don't need to know. It might make for better relationships.