Catherine Deneuve has made

headlines for appearing to support the right of men to "hit" on women.
I have been thinking about this and about something else. It is simple and yet not simple.
When I started law school the first lecture we attended had nothing to do with the law - and yet everything to do with it. The lecture dealt with things like the standard of behaviour and dress expected of students. 
Many years down the track that may seem outrageous to some people. What right did the Dean of Students have to tell us how to behave and dress? 
Once law students, like medical students, were expected to dress much more formally than other students - the men wore a collar and tie and the women wore skirts. Suits were worn in court by both sexes. They were sober suits too. I remember going into the magistrate's court to provide communication assistance and hearing the magistrate inform a young radical female lawyer that he could not see her because she was inappropriately dressed for court. (As she was dressed in a way that was more appropriate for the beach this was hardly surprising.) He told her, "You are doing your client no favours."
So what the Dean had to say to us was sensible. He pointed out that certain standards of behaviour are expected in the courts. These are, he told us, essential if the legal process is to function properly and the law be upheld. Of dress he said no more than he hoped that students would, when they had to visit the courts, "dress appropriately" as "future careers may depend on such things". 
Manners however were something else. He well knew that there were a group of women who called themselves "rad-fems"  - radical feminists. They were there to do a degree in law but they were also there to stir up a little trouble. A man opening a door for them was considered to be insulting.
      "No," he told them, "It isn't insulting. It's a basic courtesy. You will do the same for a man if he is going into the library with a bag in one hand and an armload of books in the other."
They didn't like it. I remember there were many furious comments in the canteen.  They went right through law school feeling angry about it and avoided the situation whenever they could - something that was often just as insulting.
I went through law school, walking stick in one hand and bag in the other, and men opened doors for me. The most senior male members of staff opened doors for me. I always thanked them. Occasionally I managed to do it in reverse for them. It made life easy and pleasant.  At the end of my first year when I had done far, far better than I had expected to do one of the male staff came in to the library the day before I left for a few weeks break. He put his hand briefly on my shoulder and said quietly, "Congratulations. See you in the new year."  I hadn't been one of his students but I would be the coming year.
No, I didn't regard that hand on my shoulder as sexual harassment. It was nothing more than a friendly gesture from a confirmed bachelor who wanted to express his genuine feeling that I deserved his congratulations.   
I wonder what he would do now if he was still alive? He probably wouldn't reach out like that. He might not even dare to offer his congratulations to a student. Is that the right way to do things now?
Rape is always wrong. It is vile. It is the most demeaning of acts. It should never ever be tolerated. Unwanted advances have no place in relationships. 
People have to learn to say "no" and others have to learn to listen and respect that. Learning to say "no" is hard, especially if someone feels intimidated by the position or power of the other person. 
But I wonder if Catherine Deneuve, even though I may not agree with her, hasn't given me something to think about. 
How should I show respect?