Mental health in a pandemic

is something we have not yet given sufficient consideration. Trying to get a balance between keeping people from catching the Covid19 virus and helping them remain mentally well has been a discussion we should have had earlier. 

In one of the eastern states it was finally recognised that people who live alone did need to be allowed to have at least one other person in their "bubble". Apart from a very few human beings are not natural hermits. They need contacts and relationships.

I now live alone, something I am likely to do for the rest of my life - unless I move into aged care. It isn't something which I find hard to do because I have contact with other people. I have family. I have friends. If you have none of those things then it must be very lonely unless you are a natural hermit. 

There is a woman who lives not far from here. She has never married. Given the slightest encouragement she will stop and talk and it is hard to get away from her without giving offence. She has admitted to me that she "has the radio on all day". At almost exactly the same time each day she drives slowly off in her car and has her lunch in the shopping centre. Obviously she can afford to do this but she also really does it because she is lonely.  She wants to be around other people. I am not sure how much it helps because, whenever I have seen her there, she is still alone.Volunteer somewhere? No, she doesn't want to "commit" herself. Lock down was even harder on her.

The Senior Cat enjoys the company of other people but if he needs to be alone he can still entertain himself. Despite failing eyesight and hearing he can still read. He will still fold origami models and work on small magic tricks. He will plan a lesson for someone he is still teaching. He is frustrated but he is not bored.

Other people in the same residence are bored. They don't know what to do with their time. There are activities but there always problems with staff shortages and more. Last week I went in to find a staff member had asked the Senior Cat to help run the weekly quiz by starting the session with a few jokes. It gave her a few minutes to do something else. "I don't know how I'd cope today without your father," she told me. They were, as they often are, short of staff. It is little wonder and bored residents tend to be more demanding.

I am fortunate in that I am able to entertain myself. There is always something to do. I can also lose myself completely in something I am doing - so much so that coming back into the world around me is a bit like an unexpected landing in a foreign place. But does that mean I don't need company? Of course not. I need to be with people sometimes - just not all the time.

I am very wary of intruding on other people. Not so long ago though I was accused of doing just that even though I simply left a parcel by their front door. It seems that even this was too much for the person involved. She did not want her private space "invaded" by me. Yes, it might have been a rather odd reaction but it made me aware that it was the reaction of someone who, for all she seems to be outwardly busy and involved, is probably a very lonely person. 

The pandemic has taught me something - or at least reinforced something. We need inner resources.  We need inner resources to cope with being alone, so that we don't succumb to loneliness.