"Would you let her in?"

My brother phoned me last night. He does so on a reasonably regular basis. Sometimes I phone him instead. There is also an occasional email between us. He does the same with Middle Cat.

None of us has any contact with the Black Cat. We can only assume she is still living at the same address but she does not respond. Her phone number has been changed. If I needed to contact her urgently I would need to check with the Electoral Commission that her address was the same. They might not be willing to tell me.

She would not know where I now live. The move took place after she cut contact with us. She has a phone number and an email address for me as well as my work post office box number. In addition to that she knows where Middle Cat lives, has a phone number and email for her. It is the same with my brother. 

The question from my brother came as no surprise. I know her apparent desire to have nothing to do with any of her siblings worries him. Both of us are older and spent a great deal more time away from our family home when she was growing up. We were not there when she was in her teens. 

I was on the other side of the world when she married for the first time. There was no suggestion made that I should be there for the wedding. I did not have the money for the fare. A year or so later I went just once to her then home. She had asked our parents to visit and I happened to be home. Mum had told her "and your sister too". There was reluctant agreement and it was clear the invitation had been made for the purpose of getting more financial assistance.

I thought of that and all the subsequent events, events that have caused so much harm. I remember the police giving us the information and the advice that led to me being the one to return home for the safety of our parents. The Black Cat has never accepted responsibility for any of her actions or the consequences of them. 

So, would I let her in to this small place? I do not feel it is "home" in the same way that my last place of residence was. I may never feel like that. It is more like living in student accommodation than that. It is somewhere I can eat and sleep and work. I feel I need to be quiet at all times, even when my neighbours are not quiet. I try to be polite but there is no sense of community here. I miss the occasional chat with the neighbours and the ability to put a load of washing on the line. If I tried to tell the Black Cat this I am certain she would just shrug and tell me that things are more difficult for her.

If she knocked on the door I would feel compelled to let her in. I would offer to put the kettle on. She is still "family". I know the conversation would be awkward, very awkward. I would almost certainly be very relieved to see her go again...but she is my sister.