Wednesday, 13 July 2011

I have two sisters

and a brother. One sister lives here, about two kilometres away.
My other sister and my brother live in different states. We do not see them often but my father chats to them by 'phone at least once a week. He will sometimes chat to his grandchildren as well. They are grown up now and have very young children of their own. My father likes to monitor the progress of his great-grandchildren.
However it is a different story with my sister who lives here. It is possible to go a fortnight or more without hearing from her. She will then 'phone late in the evening or call in announced at mealtimes because she "knows" she will find us home. When she does this she will often have some scheme in mind. It will always be well-intentioned but equally almost always it will not be something my father wants or wants to participate in. He always gives in because he hates to upset anyone, most of all his children. Something like this happened last night. It involves a different exercise regime, a change in the diet he is currently happy with, a visit to the doctor to have medications which have been working well changed. He is too afraid of her to argue.
I know why my sister has done what she has done. Like me she does not want our father to get "old". He is after all only 88. His parents both lived longer.
My sister would reverse the ageing process if she could - indeed her current scheme is designed to do just that. I wish it would work. I know it will not. Life does not work like that. I wish it did. This plan has to be the most unrealistic yet.
I can say nothing at all because my father is mentally competent - just compliant with my sister's suggestions. I will be accused of interfering and not wanting the best for my father. I have to live with him. I will have to live with my sister at a short distance. I will also have to live with the consequences.


jeanfromcornwall said...

Oh dear, what can I say? I would be dead three times over were it not for the skill and courage of certain of the medical profession. However when it comes to maintaining health, fiddling with a regime that works is never going to make things better. I am sending sympathy to you, since you have the harder part - to sit to one side and watch.

Anonymous said...

Honestly Cat? Your sister tries to organise everyone! I would say stand up to her but I know it would do no good. Hugs Ros

JO said...

What a bummer! Whatever you do will be wrong - I suppose you can only think about which least-wrong thing (in the sense that you are the one that has to live with the consequences).
Any chance your sister will read this? That might help her realise there is a different point of view.

catdownunder said...

Thanks for the sympathy Jean.
Yes Ros - you are right. Useless to argue.
Jo, not a chance she is going to see this and it would make no difference.
I do love her dearly but....