"I do not want to sleep

in tiger stripes or a flower garden," the Senior Cat informed me.
I was looking at a sheet. It is (or was) one of those "fitted" bottom sheets.
The elastic has gone in three of the four corners of this sheet. It is (or was) very thin. The Senior Cat has now managed to put a hole in it.
I am not going to try and mend it. We do not own a sewing machine and those iron patches would be useless. The Senior Cat wants the sheet anyway. He says he can use it for some purpose in his workshop. I have not inquired.
I will have to buy new sheets. I have known this for some time. I have been putting off the evil moment.
Let it be said here that, unless it involves buying a book or knitting yarn, I am not fond of shopping. Buying sheets comes even lower on the list than food. It ranks only just above trying to buy something to wear on my feet.
The problems are many and varied.
First up there is finding the right size. It is not a simple matter of finding "single bed" sheets - although there seem to be less of those. There is something called "drop" or "depth" which apparently also relates to the size or thickness of the mattress. Deal with that and then you have to consider other things.
What is the sheet made of? The Senior Cat and I both prefer pure cotton. Cotton/polyester sheets are not as comfortable, especially on a hot summer night. Finding cotton sheets however is a bit like hunting for a hen's tooth.
If I succeed in finding them then there are at least two more hurdles to overcome. There is the "thread count". I am, I think, reliably informed that the higher the thread count the better the cloth. What I do know is that the 250 count feels cheap and nasty. I will look for something better on the grounds that it will last longer and will, in the end, be better value for money.
And then, this will be the biggest problem of all it seems, there is the colour. The Senior Cat wants white sheets or, at very least, cream sheets. He does not want blue or green or pink or pastel of any type. He does not want spots or stripes or floral patterns or gingham squares. He wants plain sheets.
"But you don't see them when you are asleep," I tell him. It makes no difference. He wants white or cream. 
"They shouldn't be hard to find," he tells me, "Everyone uses them."
Perhaps that is why there are no white or cream sheets readily available. Perhaps it is because "everyone uses them".
I have no excuse not to go shopping this morning. It is not raining. The trains began running again yesterday. I can pedal to the station and prowl into the city.
I just hope I can buy sheets that provide the Senior Cat with a cloud to sleep on rather than a tiger or a flower garden.