yesterday when someone suggested that the Senior Cat and I might like to go to her place for "dinner". Nothing specific was said and I know she was thinking he might find it rather difficult.
She likes the Senior Cat - rather a lot - but she has only ever seen him on his home territory - and during the day.
In the middle of the afternoon, having had his post prandial nap he is alert and ready to make conversation with anyone he finds interesting. He finds her very interesting. (He will be polite to other people but he really perks up when it is someone he can engage with intellectually.)
I suspect people forget how old he is and how much of an effort it can be for someone of 92 to engage in conversation, especially in the evenings. If he was invited out the Senior Cat would accept the invitation in order to be polite. He would not enjoy himself. He would, at that hour of day, be worried about not hearing things and falling asleep over the soup. He hasn't been anywhere except to family for the past couple of years.
But he still goes out during the day. He's off to a gardening meeting today with Middle Cat. It means I can defrost the freezer and wash the floors in relative peace and without worrying he might slip by coming in and walking on a wet floor. (I have terrifying visions of his walker sliding off ahead of him at such times. Perhaps I worry too much.)
But invitations out in the evening are to be avoided if possible. When some evening event has come up at his church or among his friends and acquaintances he has said to me many times,
"I hope nobody thinks I might want to go. It would be nice of them but I really don't want to go out at night any more."
If we do go over to Middle Cat's place he knows he can come home early. Middle Cat's house is designed to be accessible - for their old age. This house is also designed to be accessible. I hope he can stay here where he feels comfortable. It's his home and he is like a tortoise gradually withdrawing into the home-shell for winter.
So I have left a message to explain it would be easier for her to bring her two delightful grandchildren over here. After all the other advantage of that is that he has all those magic tricks in his study and he can teach them how to do some - if they come here.