and then live with the fact for forty-five years without confessing or giving yourself away?
That story in the paper has me bewildered. It seems, if the reports are correct, that the man in question has gone on living in the same house where he has apparently buried the body on the same property.
The very idea of even accidentally injuring someone or any other living thing worries me. The idea of murdering someone is beyond my emotional comprehension.
The Senior Cat has always said he would do violence to protect his family. Perhaps he would but it would have a devastating effect on him. Caning children was still permitted when he was in the teaching service. He hated it. He didn't allow his staff to do it. He would cane for two reasons. One was for throwing stones and the other was for gross insubordination to a teacher. In the first instance there had to be an intent to harm the other person by throwing the stone and in the second there had to be a failure to apologise. On the two occasions he caned that I knew about in his forty or so years of teaching he came home with a raging headache. He hated doing it.
Compared with murder the three hits with a cane - which is all he would give - were I suppose minimal violence. If he ever murdered someone it would be immediately obvious that something was very, very wrong.
And yet this other man has apparently managed to live for forty-five years and tell the same story over and over again - the story that his wife walked out on him. It is the story he told not just the police but his family, his wife's family and - his children. I can't help wondering what they think, what his grandchildren,and what other family and friends think. They are almost certainly ordinary, decent people.
I am sorry for them.
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I never understood the reasoning behind caning - what does it teach? That violence is an acceptable way to resolve a problem? It just breeds resentment and distrust towards authority in my mind.
My motto in parenting has been 'children need your love the most when they appear to deserve it the least'. It makes it tricky though when teachers need to balance the wellbeing of the child acting out against the wellbeing and safety of other students and their teachers. I wish teachers were not so overworked so they can have the emotional and physical resources to approach behaviour management with insight, compassion, consistency and strength.
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