"He doesn't talk. He's had a stroke"

the woman told me. 

I had stopped to speak to someone else I know as I passed the little "hole in the wall" coffee place next to the supermarket. Her mother has not been well and I wanted to inquire. J...had waved me over and then introduced me to two people who were sitting with her. 

The woman promptly rose and said she would just go into the supermarket as I was there to talk to J... I thought this was rather odd and then this woman said of the man sitting there, "Oh, I can go now. I didn't want to leave J... on her own." 

That sounded even odder to me. Her husband was sitting there. Then this woman went on to say, "Oh, he doesn't talk. He's had a stroke." 

I did not like that at all. It seemed completely insensitive to me. I could see J... did not like it either. She looked as uncomfortable as I felt as the other woman hurried off.  

My immediate reaction was to include him in the conversation. So I said to him, "J... and I have known one another a long time. I just wanted to know her mother is."

And then I asked him a question he could answer "Yes" or "No" to - a nod or shake of the head if necessary.  Had he known J... for long time? He smiled and said, "Since she was a baby."

His speech was a little slow, a little careful but quite clear. We went on talking. He was part of the conversation. They had been to one of those rare funerals which are genuinely happy occasions. I even teased him mildly about "something usually only men do" at one point (the wearing of ties at funerals)  and he laughed. 

We talked for perhaps six or seven minutes. He participated fully in the conversation. I then left both him and J... and thought that the comment of the woman (who was apparently his wife) was very odd indeed. He could talk. It was, apart from that slight hesitation - as if he needed to put the words together, perfectly understandable. 

J.... called me last night to tell me something else and I mentioned it and she said, "Oh, he mostly doesn't say anything. C....(his wife) does all the talking - for both of them. I've never heard him so chatty. He liked you because you talked to him."

I am not sure whether to feel frustrated or furious. There is almost nothing wrong with his ability to communicate that a little patience on the part of others won't fix.  I know I am perhaps much more acutely aware of communication issues. Almost my entire life I have been aware of such things but I also believe there are plenty of other people out there who are aware. All this pleasant man needed was someone with a very small amount of willingness to wait as he spoke. If his wife had said nothing at all I would have picked up a problem - but it wasn't the problem she told me it was. That upsets me.  How dare she tell me, in front of him, "He doesn't talk. He's had a stroke."