Thursday, 10 July 2025

A "Minister for Loneliness"?

Apparently one in six of us feels "lonely" and, each year, around 900,000 people around the world die from loneliness. That is according to a WHO report. 

I suspect the figure is far higher than that. In a world which is "more connected" than ever before we actually interact less. There are people who "work from home" and live alone. They do their grocery shopping on line and pay for it on line. They pay their bills on line. If they do travel they go in a car alone or swipe a card on public transport. They may go to the gym but once there they exercise alone. If they go to the library on their way home they can use the self-serve check out and then, having forgotten to add milk to their home-delivery from the supermarket, they can pick up a carton and use the self-serve checkout without speaking to anyone.  Of course if the self-serve checkout is not available and they go through a staffed checkout they can keep watching the screen of their phone so there is no need to talk to anyone. 

Who wants to talk to people? Why on earth would we bother to talk to anyone we do not know? We all know the world is full of dangerous and evil people don't we? It isn't safe to talk to strangers is it?

We isolate ourselves by our own behaviour and then isolate everyone around us in the same way. If you talk to strangers, even just casual comments in passing, some people think you are "weird", "a bit odd", "bonkers" and more. No, you are not "crazy" but there is definitely something a little different about you. You are not supposed to behave this way. It makes other people feel uncomfortable. They are not sure how to respond. 

You're lonely? "Go and join a group," they tell you. Find a common interest group. Get involved. 

No, it is not as easy as that. The "time" issue is likely no more than an excuse because the real issues are having the courage to go along to a group. If you do get that far do other people make you welcome? Are you willing to participate, really participate? Do you actually know how to interact with other people any more? It is easier just to look at a screen isn't it?

One of my regrets is that I have no friendships outside family forged in childhood. We moved too many times for that to happen. My mother did not want other people's children in the house. She saw children all day in school.  There is nobody with whom I can share the memories of playing games of imagination outside. 

For some people that is different. I knew two women, both now deceased, who met on the first day of school and remained friends for the rest of their lives. They had over ninety years of shared memories. I wonder if that could happen now. 

It will take more than a Minister for Loneliness and some sort of government policy to combat loneliness. We need to change the way we live.   

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