Eating at the table

is apparently a thing from the past for some families. 

There is a very witty but also rather sad article about this by one of the regular columnists in today's paper. It is also something I was thinking about several days ago.

I was thinking about it because someone called in and remarked, "Oh, you kept the good table and chairs."

The "good" table and chairs happen to be those that we kept in what we called the dining room. This was the space immediately adjacent to the kitchen on one side and the "living area" on the other. We also had a kitchen table and chairs. Yes, we had the space and we used both. The kitchen table and chairs were for every day use. The dining table and chairs were for the times we had visitors or we needed to spread something out. The dining room table could be extended from seating for four to seating for six or even eight. I have not yet extended it here but I might because I also used it to set out other projects. Mum used it as a cutting table for her sewing and the Senior Cat would put her machine up there because the natural light was much better.

Now I eat at the "good" table. I do not eat watching television or a phone screen. I read books. It is something both the Senior Cat and I did at times. For years he read the paper as he ate his muesli and drank his instant coffee. He could read rapidly which was probably just as well because breakfast was always a rushed affair when he was still working and not much better when he "retired" to do other things. 

At the evening meal though we ate as a family. To do anything else would have seemed strange. If one of us was unavoidably absent Mum did not like it at all. A hot main course might be kept in the oven but that was the only thing she allowed. We were expected to be there and be on time. 

Our meals were not silent. Events of the day were discussed. We kittens knew that school matters were never ever discussed outside the house. Quite often there would be a young teacher at the table with us and we would remain silent as some teaching issue was discussed. There was never anything said about individual students but I could often guess there was much more to an issue. It was all good training for my later working life when I have signed more confidential documents than I care to think about.  

But eating together was more than that. Mum could watch over what we ate of course but lessons could be discussed and the homework we were required to do. Mum would test our spelling and our "times tables". If there was a school test coming up she would make sure we were prepared. The Senior Cat would help with a project but he would also try to steer the talk away into thinking about other things. 

I had no idea what other families talked about. I assumed every family was like ours and was amazed when I eventually found out their conversations were about sport (something never discussed in our house) and the latest popular songs (my parents would never have heard them) or some other local event. Local events were only discussed if we were involved in them.

When Mum died things did change. I kept meal times regular because of the Senior Cat's medical issues but we discussed books and politics, current affairs and philosophical questions, religion and more.  Mealtimes were something we enjoyed as a chance to talk to each other. 

I think it is one of the things I miss most. It might be why I read as I eat - and do both rather slowly.