An "Advanced Care Directive"

is something every adult should have. It allows other people, whom you trust, to make medical and other care decisions on your behalf if you can no longer make them yourself. Other places have similar directives  under different names.
I have an ACD and have nominated two  of my nephews - a lawyer and a doctor -  to do the job if it ever becomes necessary. I hope it won't be but you never know and I don't want some anonymous state official making decisions about me.
My doctor nephew called in yesterday and the topic was raised. No, nothing has changed...but it is wise to check once in a while.
It reminded me that last week I had to help someone sort out her will. She is in her 80's. Her husband always told her it wasn't necessary for her to have a will. He died some months ago - without a will. It has left an horrendous mess for her - including the loss of her home. The family situation is very complex. Children she did not know existed (from a previous marriage she knew nothing about) have appeared out of the woodwork and more. 
When she told me her husband had died without a will and she did not have one alarm bells rang. Her husband had said more than once that she "would get everything". Fortunately he said this more than once in front of other people. It isn't going to solve the problems which have arisen but it might help. She wanted me to help.
I can't do the job for her. It is much too complex for that but, at her request, I have been helping her understand what the solicitor is asking her to do. He is someone I know and trust to do the best he can for her. 
There was a long list of questions in the mail last Monday. We have been through them. I have written a list of things she must find or get or do. We are trying to keep the costs down. 
And yes, money is a problem. She had no bank account of her own. There is a small joint account - which she had actually never used because "he always handled the money side of things". There is a much larger account she can't use because it is in his name. 
This elderly woman was sitting in a cold house, frightened to turn on the heating, eating frugally to try and make the little money she has last all because her husband of more than fifty years didn't make a will. Her daughter is sending me frantic messages from the other side of the world and adding to each one "...and please make sure Mum makes a will." She was here for the funeral and will be here again in July. If she has found a two bedroom flat she can afford in a northern English city she will take her mother "home" then. It's the only thing they can do.
I wasn't going to say anything here but my elderly friend said to me,
    "Dear put all about it and what happened to me on that diary thing you write and tell everyone  they need to make a will."
Yes, I have one. It's the sort of thing we try not to think about - but it needs to be done.