"Bored" teens are

a problem.

I had a visit from one yesterday, along with his father. The kid is in trouble. He has caused me and people I know a lot of trouble. He has hacked into multiple computers, sprayed graffiti at the railway station, chalked graffiti here and elsewhere, bought cigarettes underage, helped someone else send vile messages to  people and more. He's been skipping school and skiving off to "do stuff on my board" too. 

Inevitably he has been caught. His father hauled him along to visit me  yesterday. I would have been happy not to see him. Although I had never met him before I knew instantly who he was and what he had been doing. 

I did the only thing I could think of. I asked his father to leave, to go and wait in the car. This was between the kid and myself. I didn't want his father there while we talked about it.

I think that shocked both of them. 

I could see the father wanted to argue with me but I just looked at him and mouthed "Please go away."

The kid stayed. I looked at him. He squirmed. I asked him, "Do you want to come in?"

He shook his head. 

"Do you want to say anything?"

"Me dad says I have to say I'm sorry."

"That is not the point," I told him, "Do you want to say you're sorry?"

"I guess so."

"Okay, you don't really want to say it. Nobody likes to apologise for being an idiot. Let's talk about something else. You've been doing it for your grandmother haven't you?"

"Me nan? Yeah - she doesn't like people like you."

"And is that okay?"

He shrugged, squirmed, shook his head and then said, "Me mum keeps crying and my dad is furious. He says if he was allowed he'd beat the hell out of me."

"I'm glad he isn't allowed to do that. What else has he said?"

"Heaps."

"About skiving...and the graffiti? The cops talked to you about that didn't they?"

"Yeah...and the hacking...."

"You know I actually think you are pretty smart and I really do mean that. I would have absolutely no idea how to hack into someone else's computer. Is it difficult to do?"

"Nah, not those."

There was more squirming and foot shuffling. 

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Me dad's taken me phone and I can't use the computer except for school until school starts next year. And I'm not allowed out with me mates until then either. He's taking me to school  in the mornings and me mum is going to be there in the afternoons and...they're treating me like a little kid!"

"Sounds tough to me. I guess that's how they think of you. But I asked you what you are going to do about it?"

He looked at me and I added, "Look it isn't the way your parents are punishing you that counts. It is what you do about it that counts. You must be feeling pretty fed up right now. I'm fed up too. You've hurt me and some people I know and it is going to take a while for us to trust each other again - if we ever do.  It's not just about doing the wrong thing and apologising and taking your punishment. It's about thinking about what you've really done to other people. Go and tell your dad that I'll meet both of you at the railway station. I've got something I want to show both of you but I'll ride up there because I've got to do something else afterwards."

He looked at me warily. There was more squirming.

"Go on. I think you are a basically decent sort. I'm not mad at you - just disappointed."

I suspect that hurt more than anything. About fifteen minutes later we were all looking at the small memorial to the man who spent years of his life cleaning graffiti and repairing the damage vandals do to the railway station. We talked about it.

"I guess he sort of wasted a lot of time, had to waste a lot of time because of us."

"Well, you wasted your time too,"  I told him, "Can you find something else to do instead?"

Another shrug and some foot shuffling. His father was, thankfully, silent.

"I guess so." 

"Contract between us?"

He hesitated and I offered him a contact free high five. His expression was extraordinary but his hand came up as he mumbled,  

"Thanks, you're okay you are."

I'm not. I'm mad at him and the damage he has done but telling him that won't help. I hope he finds something more positive to do. I'm not betting on it but he probably won't bother me again.