Sunday 1 November 2020

Godfather's come in all shapes

and sizes, points of view, levels of criminality and more.

My own godfather is tall and too thin and has never had as much as a speeding ticket. He is 95 and stopped driving three months ago  - with an unblemished record. 

The only problem with all this is that he cannot come to us. It is one of those times I regret not being able to drive, not owning a car and more. If I could get to him more easily then I could check  more easily. 

Yes, he has two children and they do check. His daughter calls in almost every day. His son calls in less often but phones him every day, sometimes more than once.  He has an emergency pendant too. 

He has lived alone since his beloved wife died and tells me, "I'm not used to it. I'm learning to live with it but I am not used to it." I doubt he ever will be.

He has, in his own words, not been "that sort of godfather". He has never remembered my birthday. He didn't provide presents and outings or spoil me. For years we had very little contact with one another. This was hardly surprising. Once he left the navy he worked very long hours in his own business. I was studying and researching just as many hours. There was the very occasional contact at clan events. He is an "honorary" member of the clan because he grew up in the same close knit group.

After my mother died though he would phone the Senior Cat. He was there without any fuss or bother or overt sympathy - just a little much needed support. The two of them would chat, meet over cups of tea and small jobs in the Senior Cat's shed. These would often be on the mornings his wife was playing bridge  with one particular group. We sympathised with his need to get away on those mornings!

And of course this last year has been different. We haven't seen him because of Covid. There have been phone calls but it hasn't been the same. I have been concerned recently even with his son and daughter checking on him. 

But  yesterday he phoned, sounding a little perkier. We have discussed getting Middle Cat to take the Senior Cat to visit. It will take a little arranging but it can be done. I will talk to his daughter, F..., and perhaps take lunch for everyone.

He may, in his own words, have been "the world's most neglectful of godfathers" but we have grown closer in the past  twenty years and he does mean a lot to me. He was there for the Senior Cat when he needed him and that counts for so much. 

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