Deafness is isolating,

very, very isolating in some circumstances.

Last year a group I belong to had a stand at a craft fair. We were not selling anything. We were simply there to advertise an environmental fund raiser and ask people to knit squares for the blankets we will be raffling off in September this year.

One afternoon a couple stood a little distance back and looked at the display. They were using signs to communicate with each other. When the woman looked more in my direction I signed "hello" and gave her what I hoped was a friendly smile. She looked a bit hesitant but her partner came over and said, "We're from Canada. I'm hearing but M... isn't. She would like to know more about what you are doing."

I know some basic signs - for this country. M... uses Canadian Sign Language. CSL is very different from ASL. She also uses the one handed alphabet. I use the two handed alphabet. (These allow you to spell out words with your fingers.) 

I also know that lip reading is an extremely difficult thing to achieve. It is even harder when someone has an accent and the lighting is less than perfect.  I knew M.... would be really struggling even if I was careful to face her and choose my words equally carefully.

I also chose not to rely on her husband to interpret. He let the two of us attempt to communicate with each other. It was not easy but I managed to give her a little basic information about what we were doing. She took one of the information sheets we had printed out, smiled at me and they went off.

Her husband contacted me a couple of days later. He told me he would be working here for some time and he hoped M... would make some squares for us. M... is very, very lonely here. Even the deaf community uses a language which is essentially foreign to her. We have had all sorts of restrictions because of Covid. The requirement to wear masks in many settings makes it impossible for her to even contemplate many everyday activities.Knitting and crochet are activities she enjoys and her work is lovely. 

They have joined a small community church group. The people there have made them welcome. There is a monthly women's craft group where they make things for charity. The women there have endeavoured to include M... in that and it has been appreciated. It is not easy for them or for M...  She feels awkward. 

So another M...  and I discussed this. There is another group which might have been able peripherally include her. With some suggestions from me the other M... sent a message explaining the situation. M... would not be able to go to meetings because the communication barrier is too great. Her husband works at the time the meetings are held. I cannot go with her to help even in my very limited way. But we suggested that perhaps M... could still "join" the group, get the newsletters and be made aware of anything special which was going on. 

I won't explain here what the response was but it was very disappointing. I can only be grateful that we did not suggest it to M... before we made inquiries. 

M... uses sign and French. English is her third language. She has a degree in mathematics and teaches that subject to the deaf. She is an intelligent and able woman. We email each other now. It's a much easier way for her to communicate.

And M.... knitted all the squares for a blanket which has now been embroidered by my good friend S....  It will make a magnificent first prize in the raffle.  It is a much bigger contribution than that made by the entire group with which we thought she might be able to be peripherally associated. Here are the squares before S... sewed them together. (Embroidered by S....).