The same but different?

There was a knock on the front door yesterday. I could guess who was there even before I went to answer it because I had heard their chatter. 

Yes, it was the five year old twins from further down the street. I haven't seen them for a couple of weeks. That is unusual in itself. They are usually to be seen going backwards and forwards to the little park around the corner. 

What was even more unusual was the fact they had not said "thank you" for the activity packs I had left at the front door around then. I thought it was odd. Then I wondered if I had done the wrong thing and their parents didn't want me to do something like that. 

No, it wasn't that at all. They were standing there with their new Christmas present scooters - and a small box of chocolates. They handed the chocolates over to me with giggles and grins. "It's to say "thank you" and we liked what was in the bags." Then they rushed off to try their scooters on the gentle slope of the driveway. Their mother looked at me and said, "We should have done this earlier but they used some of their pocket money and I had to wait."

D... is pregnant again and she looks tired. The girls start school next week and she admitted to me, "I am looking forward to that as much as they are."

It made me wonder what the "twin policy" is at the school the girls will be attending. It isn't far from here and the two boys across the street also go there.  D... wasn't really sure.

Her own policy now is to let the girls decide whether they want to be the same or different. They are "identical" but some days they wear the same outfits and other days they choose different outfits. When their mother buys their clothes they go too. They decide whether they both want pink t-shirts or whether A... will have a pink one and L...will have a lavender one. 

They will both have the same school uniform of course but their mother has that one sorted. "They will go to school wearing different coloured ribbons plaited into their hair so that everyone can tell the difference!" 

I am starting to be able to see differences between them too. They are rivals but also good friends. One of them loves any sort of art and craft. The other is more interested in playing games with her stuffed animals. Both of them like to "garden" and race around on their scooters. They are learning to "take turns" without adults telling them to do just that.

I once knew an identical twin who hated being a twin so much that she did not even speak to her sister. She left home as soon as she could and she would tell people, "Imagine having to sit opposite yourself at breakfast time! I hated it." She was almost insanely jealous of her sister. I met her sister at her funeral and she seemed, on that brief acquaintance, a very pleasant person who had found the whole situation very distressing.

The mother of A... and L... seems to me, despite having doubts sometimes, to have the balance right. She made the effort to make it sometimes the same and sometimes different. Now she is encouraging them to do the same. She wants them to grow up as individuals but still have that unique bond that twins can have. 

The twins rushed back on their scooters. Having tried the slope they could now tell me about their scooters. 

"They are the same but different," I was told. Could I guess how? I made the usual silly suggestions and they giggled some more. Then they showed me. "They have different pictures."

They are different pictures too - different aspects of the same landscape perhaps?