Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Sometimes people need to talk

and the rest of us should simply stop everything and listen.
I was busy yesterday. Having the Senior Cat in hospital has not been a holiday for me - although I suspect some people think it has been.
Middle Cat has had "gastro" so did not visit. As we agreed one of us should visit each day with mail, laundry, and "TLC" it has fallen to this cat to do the prowling in. 
I told him I was expecting a visitor later. We both agreed that this person would probably need to talk although the ostensible reason for coming was something entirely different.
And yes, he did need to talk. I put the kettle on. He made his own coffee. He showed me what he wanted me to see. I admired it. 
It is actually very, very good. He has designed something and done it with the great skill. Now that it has been designed he has to transfer it to another medium and finish it. There are many hours of work involved. 
We talked about it for a bit. He sat there and sipped his coffee and I waited and, finally, he started to talk. He needed to talk. Yesterday was the anniversary of the accident that left him so badly scarred by burns that he will live with fragile skin and no ability to properly control his body temperature for the rest of his life. There's no hiding the scars on his face and people do wonder why he wears layers of clothing on a day when the rest of us are looking to take as many clothes off as is decent. He still gets out and about.
And this is a man who, despite all that, despite the constant pain and the problems with sleeping is still doing things for other people. He also knows some interesting people. They look to him for help.
I like his attitude of wanting to help.
But sometimes he needs someone too. I think people forget that. So yesterday although I didn't really have the time I sat and just listened. I didn't bring out my knitting as I sometimes would. I just sat and listened. He talked and talked. I just listened.
Eventually, four hours later, I had to tell him I needed to do something because someone, somewhere else, would be waiting. He knew it was time to go. He finished his completely cold coffee and gave me his lop-sided smile as I waved him off.   He hadn't smiled on the way in.
Sometimes you just need to listen.

1 comment:

virtualquilter said...

Yes, they do, and you just have to listen, you don't have to solve their problems. Just listening helps.