Going to school

is not a joy for everyone.

I was talking to former neighbours yesterday. They had invited me over so we could, somewhat belatedly, exchange tiny Christmas gifts. As usual, the conversation came around to the younger of their two granddaughters. 

She is considered to be "on the autism spectrum". The reality is that she is not coping with the school environment. Things have been a little better since she was moved from one school to another with a different learning style but.... 

A.... is a "difficult" child. She can throw a temper tantrum at apparently the slightest of things. The tantrums are spectacular, especially in a nine year old. Anything can bring one on but too much noise, too much excitement, too many demands on her are all triggers. Her world is probably in a state of confusion for a good deal of the time. It is exhausting for her and for her family and others who have to deal with her. How do you cope with that?

I like A... We actually get on rather well together. I suspect that, were she living with me, there would be fewer tantrums. We both like things to be quiet. The Senior Cat likes quiet too. I am not a "radio on the moment I get up" sort of person. I prefer reading books to watching television. I don't like noisy parties. I am uncomfortable in crowds. Modern popular music is something that, more often than not, makes me want to put my paws over my ears.  I am not a recluse but I am also happy in my own company - or perhaps it is fairer to say in the company of what I have created.  

I suspect A... is like this too  - only even more so than I am. School must be very difficult for her. 

Yesterday her grandmother was clearly worrying about this. A... has two years of primary school left. She is still refusing to write anything. She won't even use a keyboard to compose anything. She will tell you a story but she won't attempt to write it down. Attempts to get her to do these things result in melt downs of dramatic proportions. It isn't a matter of intelligence. She can read - well above her age level. She can spell - she will spell a word for you. Her mathematical abilities are also well above her age level. She has imagination. Her manual dexterity is good and has been since she was small.  

Something is stopping her from writing anything. "I know it," she will tell you, "I don't need to write it down." She does know it too. If you tell her that other people need to know she knows whatever it is she will look blankly at you. That makes no sense to her. It isn't laziness she simply does not see this as an issue. 

Her grandmother asked me to look at a school website. They are thinking about what will happen to A... two years from now. Where will she go to secondary school? There is a new school in this state. It is small. It has been set up for exceptionally bright children who need something extra. They are expanding into the secondary school. How they plan to do this I don't know but results at the primary level suggest they are very serious about the needs of their pupils.  A...'s parents are wondering if this school, still with only about forty students, might work for her. Her grandmother has asked me for my thoughts on the topic.

I can't give them advice. It isn't my place to do that. I doubt the school will accept her when they interview her and they learn of her problems. Perhaps if she learns to overcome her reluctance, perhaps fear, of writing anything they might. 

I wonder how well the school will be able to teach students at the secondary level. The cost of providing science and maths and languages to such a small number of students is going to be astronomical.

And yet, this is what exceptionally bright students need. Teaching exceptionally bright or "gifted" children is not easy. There are challenges, real challenges. Too many people think it is "easy" for children of very high intelligence to learn, that they don't need the help other children need. The reality is that they sometimes need more.