Losing a child

is something I cannot even begin to understand. I have not had children of my own so how could I possibly understand? I am not a parent.

But I hope I can understand that it must be harder than losing a parent. Our parents are older. Children are younger.

Yesterday someone alerted me to the fact that an acquaintance has lost a child. He lived in another state and the current situation meant she could not even visit him. She cannot even go to the funeral. This mother is someone I know only casually. We see one another in the shopping centre and the library. We know each other "by sight". We acknowledge each other but we have never "had coffee" together. Having heard her talking to other people I do know she was proud of her son and his achievements.

I am glad her friend did alert me. It was a kindness to both of us. 

It brought back the occasion just before Christmas one year. I was in the greengrocer and people were wishing each other the usual "Merry Christmas" sort of greetings. I said this to someone I knew in the same sort of casual way and her response was the devastating, "I'm going to have a bloody lousy Christmas. My daughter just committed suicide." 

Her daughter had post-natal depression. This woman was left with a young grandson to care for, a child who was and is a constant reminder of what she has lost. 

I remember holding her at the time as she sobbed uncontrollably on my shoulder. I was not a friend. She just needed someone, anyone at all, to hold her while she wept. I will be forever thankful to the owner of the shop for quietly moving the other customers away to the other till and giving her the time she needed to compose herself. It could not or perhaps should not happen right now.

We are not supposed to have close contact with other people at this time. We are supposed to "bump elbows", use hand sanitiser and masks, keep a "social distance" and more. All this is supposed to keep us safe and prevent the spread of a virus which can be deadly. I understand and respect that but there is another sort of illness which can be just as harmful and we need to be aware of it. Right now there are many people who need more support than ever. We all need it.