The suicide bombings at Kabul

airport were expected but that makes them no less horrifying or incomprehensible.

Why do this? How can people do this to other people? You can be sure that those responsible for planning the attacks were nowhere near when the suicide bombers acted. The suicide bombers themselves were people who were brainwashed into believing that they were doing something which would not be condemned but commended, highly commended. 

The cries of "ground attack", "ground attack" over and over again will stay with the survivors for the rest of their lives. You do not recover from something like that. You just learn to live with it after a fashion.

When I was about four years old my paternal grandfather brought two Dutch migrants to visit us in our home in a small country community. It was a very quiet place - usually. These Dutch migrants spoke very little English at the time and I know I was puzzled by the way they were finding it so hard to put their thoughts into words. We were all in the kitchen when the local country fire service alarm went off - calling the men to assemble and help somewhere. The Dutch woman dived under the kitchen table at the sound of that siren.

At the time I did not understand but I did later. All those years after the war her natural unthinking reaction was to find the nearest "shelter" available. She had never really recovered from her experiences. 

I knew her for years after that experience. She never mentioned it again. As a teenager I spent a weekend with them. They spoke Dutch at home, Dutch to their children, Dutch to me. Their children and I answered them in English but I was acutely conscious of a certain tension there. She was still struggling. Although she went on to do a great deal to help others she never really recovered from her war time experiences. 

It will  be like that for so many people in Afghanistan and other places, places like Iraq and Syria and many more. They will always be looking around for a "safe" place even when they are in as safe a place as any of us can ever be. 

Those suicide bombings are not only about the number of people killed or physically wounded or the damage done to internal or international relations. Those bombings are about the psychological damage being perpetrated on people who simply want to get on with their lives, who want to bring up their children and see them succeed at school, at work and - most of all - at life itself. Why does anyone want to deny another that?

My stomach is churning. I want to hug someone. It won't change the situation but, selfishly, I want to tell someone - anyone - I care.