The Vietnam born Governor of this state,

 Hieu Van Le, came here as a refugee. He is another outstanding example of someone who came here with what amounted to  nothing and worked his way up to the highest position in the state. What is more he has used his time in that position well. 

I have not met him but I have met his wife, Mrs Lan Le. It was an unexpected meeting but a very pleasant one. Like her husband she has been taking a keen interest in the affairs of the state and they both attended the state's annual "Show" - the one which was cancelled again this year.  Two years ago though we could still have such events and Mrs Le came to look at the Handicrafts area while her husband was being shown other things. 

I was introduced to her so I could answer some questions she had about a particularly fine piece of work. She appeared to be genuinely interested, asking more than one question. When she had satisfied her apparent curiosity she thanked me and went back to a formal luncheon.

At the time I know I thought of how much a role she also had to play.  I have often thought of this in fact. Growing up I was perhaps made more aware of the role partners often have to play in a marriage. My parents both worked full time after the Black Cat turned three. It was a much more unusual thing back then. Mothers often stayed at home at least until their children were at school. 

Even though teachers were not well paid at the time both my parents were being paid. The same however could not be said of the Senior Cat's cousin. He was in the Foreign Affairs department and his wife, like many other wives at the time, was expected to be available to entertain visitors - often at very short notice. 

Eventually B... was posted overseas, first to Africa, then to Asia and elsewhere. They were not easy postings. He was the senior person in some places. His wife was expected to participate fully in each posting. Her role was not just to entertain visitors but to accept invitations, to be involved and interested.

By the time I went to university in the nation's capital they were living there again. B... was head of the Foreign Affairs department. They were still expected to do a great deal of entertaining. I was called on more than once to "even up" the numbers around their dining table. B...'s wife, P..., often entertained twelve people around their long dining table. I met people from all over the world. Some of them were much more interesting than others - yes there were a few who were so full of themselves they were simply of little interest to me or others. I always found people who were prepared to talk about their home countries more interesting than the people who just talked about themselves.  

But P....had perfected the art of appearing interested in everyone. She was an excellent example of "the diplomat's wife". P... bothered to learn enough of a local language to be polite - no easy task when one of them involved five tones. She made it her business to know about local cuisine - and use it where appropriate. She listened to advice about the local cultural niceties.  

There were times when, talking to me, she would throw her hands up in frustration at things which happened. As the guests arrived however she was always the pleasant, welcoming hostess. Like the Governor's wife she knew what was needed and made the role her own. She knew her "place" and it was not as that of B...'s wife but as a person in her own right with her own role to play.

Yes, there are still expectations of some partners in some positions. There always will be because of the nature of the work involved. Surely then what we need to do is acknowledge the work that such supportive partners do?