Saying "thank you" is an alien concept

to some - or so it would seem.

I have been puzzling over this yet again. Nine days ago I had two short emails from the person who was then my local MP. They were both very personal notes. One of those notes was a "thank you". This was in the middle of an election campaign. She was very, very busy - but she found time to say "thank you". 

Unfortunately she has not been re-elected. I say unfortunately because she really was a good local member, perhaps the best we have had in many years. She got things done at a local level and really tried to represent local interests. 

I wonder how many people have said "thank you" to her. I suspect it won't be many.

I was listening to the BBC news this morning and there was someone for whom I have felt a good deal of concern and sympathy who, instead of saying "thank you" for all the work that went in to helping her was criticising the British government for taking so long to help.

Perhaps that person (and most of you will be aware of the person I am referring to) is simply unaware of how very, very delicate the negotiations had to be. Even so not thanking the government at all seems to me to be not just ungrateful but unwise.  Many others will now believe that it was a simple process. It was actually a very, very complex matter.

We need to say "thank you" to others even when we don't want to do that. We need to say "thank you" even when they smirk and preen in response, even if we feel they don't deserve it.

Why? Because failing to say "thank you" makes others feel less inclined to do something like that again. It may not only be the person who performed the act but others who observed it and our response to it who will feel less inclined.

Someone let me into a busy stream of traffic yesterday - well, let me get across it so I could pedal up the side of the stream. I "thanked" him by acknowledging the gesture with a raised paw. Around here it's a common way of thanking people for similar acts.  As he passed on my right across the railway line he smiled at me. I am sure it means he will do the same for someone else in the future.

This is why it is so important to thank other people. Failing to say "thank you" is selfish.