I was "thanked" yesterday

and I am still wishing the person who did it had not done it.
I am sure she meant well. I am sure she thought she was doing the right thing but it was one of those times when it would have been better to say nothing at all.
Thanking people is an art I suppose. There are ways of doing it and times and places for doing it as well.
I try to be good at thanking people. Recently someone gave me a bunch of daphne from her garden. It was a simple but very thoughtful gift - a thank you to me for doing something for her. I also thanked her at the time. The flowers were so fresh that they lasted almost a fortnight even on a table that is in the full sun for a good part of the day. 
I told the giver this when I last saw her and thanked her again. I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her gesture. But, I didn't make a fuss about it. I just told her quietly. She seemed pleased I had mentioned it again.  I think it was the right thing to do.
Recently I made something for someone else. I didn't get a response for some weeks. Then there was a very brief email. The recipient claimed to have been away - although I know they were only away for part of that time. The thanks were perfunctory and I have no idea whether the gift was liked or not.  Am I disappointed? Yes, of course I am.
Yesterday the thanks I got was also much delayed thanks. By then it felt meaningless and wrong. I squirmed. I would have much preferred a simple, "thanks Cat" at the time, or an email the following day - or even nothing at all. 
There are much bigger things the same people have never thanked me for....hundreds of hours of help with their library and the donation of all the books I reviewed in their subject area come to mind.  I've taught things to many individuals before - and, while they have usually thanked me, it has never been acknowledged as a contribution. I've donated things for the trading tables - and not been thanked. Most recently I volunteered to help at two events because they were asking for volunteers - and I didn't even get an answer. 
It would be all too easy for me to see yesterday's thanks as a "we thanked everyone else for teaching something this year so we had better thank Cat too". I am trying not to see it that way because that would be wrong. I don't think that was what was intended.
All the same I don't feel inclined to volunteer to do anything any more. Sometimes it is just too late to say "thank you" and it might be better not to do it at all.