Severe autism

with learning difficulties and being non-verbal with it must mean the world can be a terrifying place.

I really don't understand J....'s world. His parents don't understand it either. They have spent the last seventeen years trying to do that and failing. 

He is leaving school at the end of this year and his mother came in yesterday with yet more forms to fill out and the words, "I just need to talk to someone else. Can you do something and listen?"

I let her talk while I cleared away some things. I wanted to get on with something else but she was close to tears. After a few minutes I pretended I had done enough and sat down with her instead.

"How can we have him home with us? T...still has to work. It's not safe. J...threw a big one on Sunday and this is the result." 

She showed me the bruises from J...'s temper tantrums. He gets violent when he is angy and frustrated. Their house looks strange. All the cupboards and drawers are locked. There is nothing around that J... might be able to throw or injure himself on or with. All his clothes are without buttons or zips or strings. He is constantly making noises. If he doesn't like or want the food put in front of him he will throw it on the floor and tread in it. 

J...'s mother did not go back to work - because of J... She tried but there were the constant demands that he was removed from places because of his behaviour. No work place can deal with the sort of demands placed on parents of a child like J... "Please drop everything immediately and come and get J...". 

I got to know them years ago when they still thought that a simple communication board might work. We tried everything I could think of and that they thought might work. When he started school I worked with his teachers but nothing succeeded. He is one of the most profoundy disabled people I know.

Life with J... is a constant battle to be alert, to not trigger a tantrum. His parents are exhausted. They were offered weekend respite only to be told that others could not cope and would they please come and get J... 

We went through all the forms again. School ends for J... in December. At the moment there is nowhere for him to go. He won't understand why he is being so isolated. 

His parents are being isolated too.