Visiting in aged care

is rather more important than people realise.

Even before the Senior Cat moved in to his present place of abode I was in and out of several of the local facilities. Honesty compels me to admit that I do not like doing this but, if I am equally honest, I feel I must do it.

The first person I visited on any regular basis was the Senior Cat's aunt. I did this because I was the one who could "nip in" during the day. The Senior Cat would go at weekends but visiting hours simply did not permit him to visit her during his working week. I could go in my lunch hour. We did it because she was family and, as such, mattered to us. I also liked her. She was in her nineties but still very alert, read the paper and liked to read "a good murder" mystery. Another of the Senior Cat's cousins dealt with her affairs so all I had to do was check on her a couple of times a week.

Then our elderly neighbours moved in to a place not far from Middle Cat's home. They had family who should have been looking after them and they did actually call in to see them every two or three weeks. I somehow found myself calling in at least once a week to check they had what they needed. It would only be for a short while but it often resulted in a little shopping to do or some correspondence to deal with because V... was "off with the fairies" as her husband C...would tell me - and his eyesight was at the point where reading anything was difficult.

I went on from there to other neighbours and elderly people who lived on my regular pedalling route. There are still others on the route who now need someone to watch out for them. I have been asked to act as Power of Attorney three times. It is a responsibility I hate simply because it is a huge responsibility. It is no use the person telling me, "Don't worry about the receipts Cat. I trust you." At probate I have to be able to account for every cent I have spent on their behalf. I have had to make big financial decisions for them - and hope that I have done it in a way that will be to their maximum benefit. It is perhaps even harder to do this when the person you are doing it for is not related to you in any way. 

And I have visited them. I have bought clothes for them. I have gone with them on medical appointments (in taxis) and to other appointments. I have had to explain that they cannot pay me to do all this, that they cannot give me money or leave me money in their wills. (With respect to the latter I say this because I am all too aware of what can happen when their own children see something like that has been done.)

So why do I do it? The son of someone I knew asked me that yesterday.  He could not get here to see his mother. He was on the other side of the world and travel restrictions prevented it. There was nobody else here because his children are also in other places. It was either the facility do everything here with the difficulties of getting instructions from him or someone like me helping out. 

No, it wasn't that onerous in the end. But, why did I do it? It was because when I prowled in to her room her face would light up. 

"Oh dear, it is so nice to see you. Have you got time for a chat?" 

I'll miss M... asking me that - even though I barely knew her.