Going to a nun's funeral

is a little different these days. 

C... went peacefully in the end. She had an inoperable brain tumour and slipped into sleep and didn't wake up. She had used the communication board we wrote for her for just a few days. That's fine. I am surprised she was able to use it at all. I helped P... write it as much for P...'s sake as C....'s. P... needed to be able to do something for her friend. 

I did not know C... well. I went to the funeral at P...'s request. At the present time her 96yr old housemate is in hospital. I can see P... is anxious about her...and about being alone in an old house at night. The nuns are now scattered thinly across the convent grounds. Even for me it is strange to think of the old buildings housing so many more of them than there are today. I often wonder what their lives were like when they still wore habits and rarely saw family.

But things have changed, changed dramatically. The nuns yesterday were fully involved in the funeral service. They read the Bible passages. They led most of the prayers. The eulogy from the family was given by a niece. When C... entered the convent sixty-six years ago that would have been unheard of. Their leader (no longer a "Mother Superior") was wearing black trousers and a brightly coloured top. She dyes her hair in interesting colours. Another was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Both of them are around my age - and they would be among the youngest.

C...made wonderful quilts but nobody mentioned that. I sat there in the church and worked a story around that...I might even write it if I could fill it out a bit. It didn't matter that it wasn't mentioned. Her love of music was mentioned. Her love of gardening was too. We put rosemary on her coffin at the graveside and I also managed to sneak in one small flower from this garden, something she had mentioned the day she came to visit us. 

I remember her, a shy person, suddenly blossoming as the Senior Cat found another gardener with whom to share his passion. I saw her occasionally at the chemist or in the shops. She would say hello and ask after the Senior Cat.

After the service was over she was of course buried in the little cemetery belonging to the nuns on the far side of the grounds. As I went slowly over there with P... I noticed that some of the older students at the school had quietly lined up along the route the hearse was taking. They left as it arrived and I saw one student being comforted by another. It seems C..., for all she was shy and quiet, was often there for the students. It was a school day but they had come out to say their farewells too. She had taught some of their parents. 

It is the second time I have been asked to go to a funeral at the convent. Like the first, it was all carried out with no fuss.

And afterwards? There was food and there were things to drink. Would I come? Their leader asked me to join them. As we went into the building where they hold community meetings and many other events one of the nuns came up to me quietly and asked, "Could I have a ride on your tricycle?"

And the next moment she was pedalling around in circles with the others watching on. We laughed at her and told her she needed her "steering licence" and she looked up at the sky and said softly, "There you are C... I told you I would ask her."

I am so happy she did.