I am wondering when compassion,

care, concern, empathy - call it what you will - or even simply thoughtfulness for other people has become something which is objectionable to other people?
I had the most extraordinary and disturbing email this week in which I was berated for showing concern for someone. Apparently it is not the right thing to do. I was accused of "maligning" them instead. 
It was so far removed from my intentions that it has caused me distress too. 
And then, this morning, the Senior Cat said, "I've been thinking about how friendships change."
As regular blog readers know the Senior Cat is 95. Many of his friends from childhood and adolescence are simply no longer alive. His closest friend has Alzheimer's and the other, my godfather, is also becoming increasingly less mobile - to be expected perhaps at 93.  
My godfather rang yesterday while the Senior Cat was out. Like the Senior Cat  his hearing is not good and a phone conversation is something of a trial to him. He hasn't been able to get over to see us recently because his wife cannot be left alone now. He prefers to come to us. 
Earlier in the week a much younger first cousin-once-removed came and picked the Senior Cat up and they went to visit a cousin now in a nursing home. That's clan and, thankfully, there is still some of that available - especially in that generation.
But friends? Yes, the Senior Cat has friends but I understood what he meant. They are good friends but they are not friends from his much younger days. They are not the "remember when..." friends like his two closest friends.
As we discussed his comment I pointed out to the Senior Cat that the nature of friendship has perhaps changed. It is much easier to "stay in touch" by phone, text, and email but is it friendship? Are friendships becoming much more superficial? How many "friends" do people really need on Facebook or Snapchat? How many people need to "follow" us on our blogs or Instagram, Pinterest, or Twitter? Someone told me, "You haven't got many friends on Facebook." My answer was, "I don't want a lot. I only want people with whom I would want to have a cup of tea."  
In my daily life I don't have many friends here. It's not because I am unsociable. Part of the problem has been that I have lived in other places. There are people here I am friendly with but they have their own friends, people they have grown up with or people they worked with or perhaps with whom they have played sport. Almost all of them have more disposable money than I have. They are more mobile than I am as they have cars. All those things cause me to value the friendships I do have.
And it is for that reason that I am so distressed by the idea that genuine concern for someone else and reaching out to them is seen as "maligning" them. How can that be? Since when were small gestures of friendship and concern seen as a matter of offence by others?
Perhaps it is time we reevaluated the nature of friendship and our need for it. 
If there is a knock on the door I'll put the kettle on.