Committing suicide is

the ultimately selfish act. It is probably why we prefer to say that someone has killed himself "while the balance of his mind was disturbed".
Perhaps that is so but does it really help those left? Maybe.
I went to a regular meeting yesterday and asked an elderly friend if she was okay. Her eyes filled with tears and she asked,
    "Have you heard my news?"
    "No, what is it?"
    "My son committed suicide."
You know how they write something feels like being punched in the stomach? This was like being punched in the throat. I couldn't speak. All I could do was put my arm around her and hold her until I could say, "Oh M..... I am so very, very sorry."
And I am. 
She doesn't deserve this. M.... has lost her sister, her husband and another relative all in a very short space of time - and now this. What is worse is that it was no spur of the moment thing. It had been meticulously planned and, as so often, nobody had any idea at all.
It has shattered her. She came to the meeting because, "if I don't it will just be harder next time". Yes, she is right about that but the courage it took to turn up was extraordinary. She recognised that she needs the group - needs them more than ever now- but it will only work if we give her the support she needs. That means being there, talking to her as we always would - and, above all else, listening when she wants to talk.
But the act of suicide ripples out far beyond the immediate family. It ripples out to friends, workmates, local community and anyone who knew the person - or that person's family. It ripples out to anyone who cares at all, anyone who thinks they might have made a difference. We have failed someone.
We have failed someone and that means we need to try harder with those who remain.