Mental health issues

came under discussion yesterday. 

It is not a good time of the year if you are feeling depressed and anxious - and there are many people who feel like that, especially this year.  Feeling depressed and anxious of course does not mean that someone is so desperate they will commit suicide.But it can mean they still need help.

There was a message in my general Twitter feed this morning. It wasn't from anyone I know. It was from someone whose mother died from Covid19 in November.  The hospital had just called her to say that her father, in the same ward, was now palliative care only. Of course she can't go in and see him. She is a nurse. She would know almost exactly what was going on and she is continuing to work because other people need her.

I don't know her but I feel for her. Right now she might be "coping" but she is going to need her family, her friends, her colleagues. They are all going to need to listen when she finally has time to talk, to cry and even scream at the unfairness of it all. 

Recently a number of people have asked me if I am "coping" - by which they have meant am I managing without the Senior Cat in the house. They are asking about this in practical terms. They ask if there is anything they can do to help. And yes, a neighbour fixed the hose fitting a couple of days ago. Someone else put the "green" bin out when it was stuffed to capacity and rather heavy. Those are little things I appreciate. I know I am lucky.

But, the big things - big things for me - have not happened. I was going to "have coffee" with a friend recently. This for me is something very rare and unusual, so much so that it was a real treat to look forward to. Instead of that happening we went back into lock down for a couple of days. I haven't heard from her since. She will be busy with all sorts of  before Christmas activities. Even if we had met I doubt I would have used the occasion to tell her how I was feeling. I know that, for her, Christmas will be hard because she has lost a child. 

As in so many other things though the fact that I don't have a licence to drive or, even if I had one, a car means that I don't often go to see other people. The only reason I have used public transport this year is to visit the dentist. It is better not to take the risk with unnecessary travel.

So, ask me if I am "coping" and yes, so far, in the physical sense I am. I am used to working alone. I can also entertain myself most of the time. And when someone phones me at 7:50am just because she needs to talk - as she did yesterday - then I need to listen. Sometimes though it would be nice to just have some actual human company.