Sending money overseas

should be fairly simple should it not? I mean sending it for lawful purposes should be fairly simple should it not?

The day before yesterday someone left me a message saying, "Cat, I've transferred $X to your bank account for the scholarship fund." It was a lovely surprise and not one I would ever turn down. He had come into a small inheritance and was passing some of it on to the scholarship fund we set up in memory of my late friend E.... (The scholarship supports girls in special circumstances in an African country who want to study some form of science.)

It turns out that D.... had put the money into my personal bank account. That is where the problems started.  I let Z... my friend and colleague in Belgium know. "I'll transfer it tomorrow," I cheerfully told him.

Yesterday, after returning the Senior Cat's washing, I prowled off to the bank. The first problem I met was that the Manager, who has been dealing with the banking issues for the scholarship fund, had retired the day before. There was no Manager and of course nobody else knew anything about it because the staff have all changed over the years. C.... and A... and E.... who have all dealt with the associated issues have all gone to other branches. 

I told a "nice young man" what I needed to do - take the money from my account, put it into the account which holds the local money for the scholarship, and then transfer it to the bank account in my and Z...'s name in London so that Z... can access it. 

"Yes, but why don't you just send it straight from your account to London?" he wanted to know. I explained. (There are complex reasons for this but, trust me, it needs to be done that way.) He was puzzled but a more senior member of  staff had heard me explaining and looked in.

"She's right. It has to be done that way." I got the money put into the other account after showing "photo ID" and two other forms of ID and answering the security code question.

Then he said I could transfer the money and asked, "Have you done this before?"

I have sent money before but not in the last three years. Z... was out here just before Covid19 restrictions hit and he dealt with it all. Of course things have changed.

The "nice young man" took me into a little room. He dialled a number and helped me get through to one of those lines where you are put on hold. I waited twenty-nine minutes and forty-three seconds (the time was there on the screen) and finally someone answered the phone. I explained what I wanted. Oh no, she couldn't do that because she didn't have my ID.

"I am phoning from the bank. They have seen my ID." She needed to speak to someone from the bank staff. The "nice young man" came back. He spoke to her. He has seen my ID. Can I answer the security code question? Yes. He passes the phone back to me and waits. The voice at the other end wants to know how long I have been banking with that bank. I tell her and I know I am right. No, that's not good enough. I pass the receiver back. The "nice young man" hands over his security details and number. Someone else comes in and hands over theirs. No, none of that is good enough. The three of us give up and look at each other.

"Who's got the authority?" the older person asks in the way you know she has to answer the question herself. I wait. The "nice young man" needs to go to lunch for medical reasons. I thank him for trying to help. The woman finds someone else and says "I think we can do this if...." 

Two phone calls are made. Explanations are made. We are put on hold again - only twenty-two minutes and eleven seconds this time.

More explanations were made. The ID issue was revisited. I was asked what the purpose of the transfer was. I explained. "That sounds interesting." Interesting? It's important! I am ready to growl at the people in the head office and I feel very sorry for the "nice young female bank clerk". 

Oooh....she looks at me and holds a thumb up. I cross my paws back at her. She grins. We wait. Oh yes, they think they can do that. They are a bit confused as to why it is a Downunder address on the London account. I have to explain. There should be previous transactions there...oh yes. I explain who Z.... is. She can see his name on the website of his company in Belgium. I give her the details.

Right...yes, they can do that. It was finally done. I thanked the local staff, indeed congratulated them on their patience and determination. 

"Next time we will know. We aren't getting a new Manager until March but it might be wise to make an appointment and meet him."

I will do that too.

I prowled off, unlocked the trike and pedalled off to the Post Office before going home via the closest supermarket where I did something I almost never do - I bought myself a cold drink. 

And I was halfway home before I realised that the whole transaction at the bank, which had taken well over an hour in the end, had been conducted without me signing my name once. Now how did they manage that?