Allegations of rape

and other "sexual misconduct" are currently swirling around parliament in the most vile way. Our politicians should be of the best character, not the worst. I know..."good character" and "politician" do not go together.  Still, we can hope.

Making any complaint about sexual misconduct is incredibly difficult. I know that.  My maternal grandfather was a vile man. These days he might just be incarcerated for a lengthy period. He should have been. But even though he had, on more than one occasion, shared a bed with my mother she refused to believe me or my sister when he assaulted us. 

We would probably know enough now to make a complaint to the police. But would we have dared? Probably not. I can still feel the sting from the stiff bristles of the hair brush my mother used to beat us for "daring to say anything like that". 

At the same time I am also aware that it can be very easy to make that sort of complaint in some circumstances. The Senior Cat and I know a former music teacher who was charged with sexual misconduct. He taught groups in schools, singing, piano and flute for the most part. You have to teach students to breathe in the correct way for both singing and flute. You have to touch them to get them to understand what they need to be doing, to position them. 

Music isn't the most popular of subjects with some children. Too many of them are learning to play a musical instrument because their parents think they should - even when they themselves did not enjoy the experience. 

So it was with two girls aged about twelve and thirteen. They had lessons in pairs - for obvious reasons - and they both accused him of assault. It was done for no other reason than to stop learning. There was no truth in the allegations. It wasn't until they realised that there was going to be a court case with very, very serious consequences for the teacher that they admitted they were lying. Unfortunately it still did immense harm to the teacher and his career. 

It has always made me aware of how difficult it is for some victims to make a complaint, how easy it is for others and then how hard it can be to defend yourself if you have done nothing wrong. Rape and sexual assault are almost always crimes without witnesses. Even physical evidence will be countered with arguments about the act being "consensual" where "adults" are involved - although there is nothing "adult" about any form of sexual misconduct. 

And perpetrators do get protected. A senior politician has been protected for years by his party, by the police and by others. Claims about the assault were made at the time of the offence. The victim has stuck to her story and never changed it in all that time. She has never succeeded in getting anyone to take it any further. The media won't take it up although she has been interviewed. A senior media figure told me he believed her story but it was a "no go" area for them.

How many other victims are there out there who are not being believed? How many perpetrators are there being protected? How many lives are being destroyed by false allegations? Isn't it time to start really thinking about the harm being done?