Please don't shoot the messenger!

I don't suppose anyone likes to be told they are wrong about something. I know I don't. 

But, I do try to listen. I may still go on believing whatever it is I believe  but, put hard evidence in front of me, and I have been known to give in and say, "Yes, I suppose you are right. Stupid, idiotic Cat!" I have done this more than once in my life too.

My next-to-youngest nephew once asked me - in the days when I was a "grown up" and he was a very small kitten - "Do you know everything Aunty Cat?"  The answer then, as now, was a resounding "No." I don't know nearly enough. I wish I had another hundred years of life in front of me so I could learn just a tiny fraction of what I need to know - need, not want.

But, there are things I do know. As a teacher I tried to share some of those things. I have also tried to share other information. It hasn't always been what people wanted to hear but it has sometimes been what they needed to know. They have asked and I have attempted to answer. 

It is rare for me to give what might be called "unsolicited advice". I have to be very concerned to do that. Not so long ago someone asked me if I knew of a school not far from here. I had heard of it but knew nothing much about it. She was obviously seeking my opinion for her own purposes and I thought I knew why she was doing it. She was not looking for advice. She simply wanted someone to confirm her own belief in it. Instead of answering her outright I told her, "I must look at their web page."

I did that and I read the other material available. When we saw one another again I mentioned I had read the web page and the other material I could find. I told her, "Interesting, isn't it?"

"Yes, but what did you think of it?" she asked. I knew she wanted to be reassured that this was going to be the place that solved all their problems. I couldn't do that. It isn't going to do what she so desperately wants. I told her I'd thought I'd need to actually go and look at the place before I formed an opinion.

It was the best I could do but she was still upset. I hadn't backed her  belief that this would be "the place" for her child. She was ready to shoot the messenger. Fortunately for me her husband, rather more realistic in his views, said, "Cat's right. You can't really tell what the place is like unless you visit it." It didn't leave her happy but she did back off. We are back to Covid length emotions. It isn't comfortable but I guess I'll learn to live with it.