Respect or the fine art of

opening doors for other people.

Yesterday there were massive rallies demanding more respect be shown for women, saying "enough is enough", "no more rapes" and much more. 

And yes, I am in total agreement with these sentiments. If I had been a less nervous sort of cat I might even have been tempted to prowl along and join in. 

I didn't but it doesn't mean I don't support the right to be safe. Violence is never right. 

In this morning's paper there was a column by an older journalist. He has retired from writing his daily column and just writes an occasional one. I miss his work. He was the last journalist to be trained by my final English teacher at school. I suspect that she also taught her journalism students the value of respect for each other. He was writing about that. He was saying what I have heard said before.

It was the same thing which was said to us when I started at law school. One of the professors there told us that we were expected to abide by the same standards of behaviour as we would be expected to abide by in a court of law. I remember being told that men would open doors for women and that women would accept doors being opened for them. We were also told that women would open doors for men if they were going through doors with a load of  books. (We carried arm loads of law reports about at that time. Now it is all on-line instead.) I also remember that a small group of women objected to being told that. They didn't want men to behave like that. 

It puzzled me then and it puzzles me now. Opening doors and doing all the other little acts of courtesy is not "demeaning to women". It is, or should be, an act of respect. We demean ourselves if we don't accept such acts with courtesy.

Perhaps though this is part of the problem. Perhaps the most outspoken women, the women for whom rudeness towards others is an acceptable part of  their version of "equality", have caused some men to believe that good manners less than they once did. Those women may be a tiny minority but they have made a huge difference. I know two, perhaps three. There are other women I know who are very active in speaking up for equal rights but they don't feel a need to behave like that.  

Last week I had to catch the train. I had to put the tricycle on the train. It is something I am finding increasingly difficult to do. If I am lucky someone will help. I had help then. I thanked the person involved. When I reached my destination he got up from his seat and helped me off the train as well. I thanked him again.

On my way home there was a transit officer on the train. He had to put the ramp down for a man using a gopher. He came to my end of the carriage told me he would be putting the ramp down and offered to let me use it. He went as far as to wheel my tricycle down the aisle so I could use the ramp at that end of the carriage. I thanked him too and I let him do it although I can manage to get my tricycle off more easily than I can get  it on the train. He was showing me thoughtfulness and respect and I tried to show the same in return. He is much more likely to help someone else in the same position if I do that.

If we don't treat others with respect then how can we expect to be treated with respect?