Sunday 3 May 2020

Domestic violence has

not decreased because of the "stay at home" requirements. It is likely that the opposite is true. The halving in the number of reports is most likely due to the fact that people cannot get help when they most need it. They are trapped.
I was talking to someone yesterday who went to desperate measures to get help for a neighbour she knows was being abused.  The fence between them is falling down. Her husband went out in the wind and rain the other night and gave it a little extra "help".  Their neighbours have a dog nobody seems to trust and it was now on the loose in their back garden. This made it essential for something to be done. The police were called and, warned by my acquaintance's husband, rather more inquiries than a dog on the loose were made. The husband has again been removed and charges have now been laid - for a second time. This time he won't be able to threaten his wife into withdrawing them because the police have laid the charges he will have to answer. He's in custody - at least until tomorrow.
My acquaintance was worried about whether her husband was likely to be held responsible for the "damage" to the fence and the subsequent actions. He has apparently admitted his actions to the police but they don't seem at all interested. 
    "They did say (the other man) is known to them and they spent ages looking in his sheds and went away with something."
Yesterday morning my acquaintance was looking after the neighbour's children while their mother was being interviewed. It's her chance, one she now wants to take.
There are many problems ahead, not the least of them keeping the abused woman and her two children safe.My acquaintance is worried too. 
    "J.... did the right thing but we are both a bit scared. That M....knows some right nasty types. If he finds out what J.... did then I don't know what will happen."
Domestic violence has ripple effects. It is all too often the victims who end up being "punished" more than perpetrators. As the mother of two small children I would be terrified.
The mutual acquaintance who put us in touch called me later and thanked me for talking to her friend. She said she thought they should not have got involved, that the victim should have sought help for herself. I didn't bother to point out that this might well have been impossible, especially right now. Her friend clearly did not feel that way and knew more than she did.
I will probably never learn any more. I really don't want to know anyway. It seems more important to hope the situation can be resolved so that everyone is safe - and that more victims can get the help they need.

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