Funeral music

is often just plain awful. If it is a religious service people choose dreary hymns. If it is not a religious service then I have heard everything from the most sentimental twaddle to "top forty hits" played far too loud to hear - and I know I shouldn't criticise the choices other people make. They would almost certainly be as critical of my choices.

Yesterday though was genuinely different. I went to the funeral of an elderly friend. She was 91 and not at all in good health. We should not mourn her passing but we will miss her. 

Her funeral reflected her deep love of and for music. It is something she has passed on to her children and her grandchildren. Oh yes she could listen and sing along to all sorts of nonsense with her children and grandchildren but she also taught them to love some of the most magnificent music there is - Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, Handel, Telemann, Sibelius, almost all forms of church music and much, much more. 

I opened the order of service and knew we were there for not just a funeral service but a concert of uplifting music. The name of the organist alone told me that. I could hear him playing as I entered the church. I looked across to where he was seated at the organ and thought, "Yes, I know your name."

He is an old friend of my friend. He is still lecturing at the university. He was not playing the quiet, solemn music one usually hears at a church based funeral service. No my friend would not have wanted that. He was playing short, lively little pieces. I recognized them. Yes,  they were what Y.... would have wanted. 

We were told to sing the two hymns loudly, joyfully. Downunderites are not good at community singing. Good organ playing helps but it can't do everything.  Still, those present tried to do as they were asked. They were helped by one or two really good voices. Oh how much difference that can make to a group.

But there was other music - and it was that which really had an impact. The organist is an old man but he is still a skilled musician. He went slowly from the organ to the piano helped by one of Y...'s granddaughters. Then, with no fuss, she opened the black folder she was carrying. He played a few introductory notes and then C.... sang. She sang Bach's "Bist Du Bei Mir". It is one of those truly magnificent pieces of music that, well done, leaves you both emotionally drained and also emotionally uplifted - and yes, it was well done. There was that tiny moment of absolute silence as she finished - and then a spontaneous round of applause. No, not the usual thing at a funeral - but perhaps we should have more of that sort of thing. 

And the service ended with another of her grandchildren playing the violin. That child is in Germany right now. She couldn't be there for the funeral of her beloved adopted grandmother but she  prerecorded her contribution - the Meditation from Massenet's Thais. (Find them on You Tube. Both pieces of music are things that you will know you have heard before.) 

They are pieces of music I have always found emotionally difficult to listen to - and it will be harder still now, at least for a while. They made me feel so close and yet so far from Y.... Choosing the right music is not easy. Thank you Y... I know you asked your children for those things in your gentle loving way.