How to eat porridge

You think you know don't you? 
I was prowling down the "breakfast cereal" part of one of the aisles in the other supermarket yesterday morning. This supermarket is not the one I normally shop in but they have a much bigger range of stationery and I needed something.  The only other thing I wanted was some plain ordinary porridge oats.
They didn't have any. 
I asked. No, they didn't have any. They might have some at the end of the week but "they aren't very popular".  
No? I looked at the shelves. Porridge would seem to be popular - well something they call porridge. There were no less than twelve different varieties of one brand.
I would not have touched any of them. No self respecting cat of Scots ancestry could be expected to eat something out of a "sachet",  something "instant", something loaded with sugar.  No self respecting cat of Scots ancestry could be expected to eat oats artificially flavoured with "berries" or "apple" or "creamy honey". (Does such a thing as "creamy honey" even exist?)
My paternal grandfather knew about porridge. He taught me. He soaked the oats overnight...real oats, none of this "quick oats" or oats in sachets or oats flavoured with something else. He cooked it in the morning.  It was his job to do it. My grandmother did not eat porridge - she was allergic to milk and milk products. My paternal grandfather did allow porridge to be cooked with milk. His mother, a Scot from Caithness, allowed it that way. She was of the view that if milk was readily available (and it was) then it would be used because milk was good for you.
But that was as far as it went. You did not have sugar on porridge. Porridge is oats soaked in milk overnight. Porridge is nothing but milk and oats,  best cooked slowly in a porridge saucepan on a wood burning stove.  Porridge is to be eaten from a porridge bowl, a flat bowl that allows the boiling mixture to cool enough to be eaten with pleasure. Porridge will be exactly the right consistency. It is not liquid. It is not solid. It comes somewhere in between.
That is porridge.
Nowadays I do cook it in the microwave. I worry sometimes about what my grandfather would think but we no longer have a wood burning stove. I see no point in  using a saucepan when I do not need to either. Would he call me "efficient" or "lazy"?
I eat my porridge slowly while prowling through the paper. It is winter comfort food.  It tastes like porridge. Porridge is not flavoured with cinnamon or berries or apple or anything except - oats. 
And you do not have sugar on porridge...ever.