Thursday 1 August 2019

"How to write instructions"

or perhaps "How to write instructions for dummies" or "Teach yourself how to write instructions."
There is a need for a book like this. 
I do not like writing instructions. I do not like writing patterns. In my real life work I often need to write instructions. I don't like doing it but it has to be done. 
Those instructions are often very simple and I try to keep them in very plain English. There are several reasons for this. Not everyone I work has English as a first language. The  instructions will sometimes be translated into another language using symbols. The instructions might also be directly translated into another language. People have different ways of reading and understanding what they read. 
I don't always succeed - although the humans in my life are kind and tell me that most of the time they do understand.
And then...sometimes I need to write a knitting pattern. Oh. That's another situation altogether. Knitting has a language unique unto itself. Where else do you find things like "k2tog" and then "k2togtbl" or "ssk" or "psso"? And that is just a start.
I have a simple computer programme which will "crunch the numbers" - or tell me how many stitches I might need to cast on. (I say "might" because I will invariably need to do something different and all I can hope for is an approximate guide. If I was not such a lazy sort of cat I could do this for myself I suppose.) It will also give me an approximate idea of how much yarn I might need to use.
Yesterday I contemplated a new ball of yarn. It is a single, lonely and lost ball of yarn. It looked at me hopefully and said, "Hat? If you make me into a hat then I can go and live with someone and be useful."  I told the yarn I would make it into a hat while I contemplate the next and more  complex project. 
Of course the computer programme does not do hats. I had to work it out for myself. I looked at patterns for knitted hats on the internet. There were a lot of them. None of them were any help. The yarn told me, "Start me from the top down then you can stop when you get to the end of me." Right.
I started. The yarn told me, "You are supposed to be writing the pattern so you can do it again."
I told the yarn, "There is just one ball of you."
We are arguing. Does the yarn have any idea how much I hate writing patterns? Where is the book on "how to..." when I need it?

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